First in a Long Time

Hey, sorry, haven't really had time to post anything.

Stan's actually sitting 2 rows away from me right now.

1. We had a pretty bad storm during the winter that froze everything that fell. I went outside to clean the ice off my windshield and so did Stan.

Me: *Scraping politely*
Stan: "Hey, do you have to fight your car to get the ice off?"
Me: "....uh...no....actually."

2. His idea to clean his car's windshield was to slam on the hood of the car three times. He then executed this idea. To little result.

3. The other day I walked into the hallway to see Stan brushing his teeth and such in the hallway sink. Him using mouthwash is like the most disgusting thing you could imagine. The directions recommend like...what...2/3 of an ounce? Not even a shotglass of mouthwash. Stan definitely just filled his mouth with the stuff since when he went to spit it out, he was pouring mouthwash out of his mouth for a full 4 seconds. Try spitting. See how long it takes. Now you know.

Also, he decided not to bend down to the sink to avoid splashback. He just tilted his head a little bit and opened the valve that is his mouth.

4. Stan was moving out and he made a huge deal about how he was moving the toaster oven out. I know, Stan, it's yours. Keep it. Honestly, my notes just say "moving toaster oven out." It's been so long that I've forgotten what that means.

5. Stan wanted to take his food with him when he went home.

Stan: "Could you label the stuff in the fridge that's yours?"
Me: "....It's already split like...level by level or straight down the middle. Also...just...don't take what isn't yours."
Stan: "Yeah, but it'd be easier for me if everything was labeled."
Me: "...."

6. I stopped talking or making sound for a few minutes. So did he. Suddenly:

Stan: "You there?"
Me: "....Yeah...?"
Stan: "Oh, ok, so I found this random thing on the internet..."

Shame on me for thinking he was asking about my concern, like I suddenly fell over and died or something.

7. Stan walked by my room and loudly said "Why is my bank account so big, oh right, I remember."

8. My notes just say "water dries." I think he was wondering why he had something damp that simply became dry, but I can't remember.

9. Stan: "I took a space heater from upstairs (landlady's house). I'll just leave it here next to your room."
Me: "...Shouldn't you....put the space heater back where you found it?"
Stan: "No, it's fine here. You can move it."
Me: "....I have no idea where you got that from. Also, it'd be inconvenient for our landlady since she'll probably look for the space heater..."
Stan: "Nah, it's fine."
Me: "...Just put it back."
Stan: "Fine."

10. Stan: "Are you bringing stuff home for Christmas?"
Me: "I have like a 6 hour drive, and it would just make things difficult. Especially since I'd just have to bring it back to school."
Stan: "Yeah, that's why I like only living 2 hours away from here. I'll just bring it all back, and if I wanted to, I could come back and just get more stuff. Plus it's easy for me to drop it back off at school."

Stan? Bragging? Nooooo... Never happens.

11. Stan: "Huh, I didn't remember eating this soup, but the can's empty and I have a dirty bowl and spoon, so I must've."

12. We came back to school, and I thought I wouldn't have to write this blog as much. Nope. Stan spent pretty much the first week repeating other people's answers in class. Just saying them about 10 times louder.

13. Stan was eating a cookie loudly. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THAT

14. We have a computer lab at school. 1/3 are nice, new computers. The other 2/3 are slower, beat up, older computers, but still usable. Stan was like yelling at someone or about something about how the older computers aren't that much slower. Even though they ARE significantly slower. After the speech, Stan went and took a newer computer.

15. Someone had printed their schedule three times, and to shame the mystery person, the extra copies were hung on the wall. Several seniors were taking a break or something and reading the schedule. Stan jumped out of his chair and tried to make small talk with the seniors and seem popular. By reading the schedule louder than everyone else. Word for word.

16. Stan: *Bragging* "I have a friend who has 763 Facebook friends at this school."

Stan, first off, that says nothing about your OWN popularity. Second, the amount of people who actually like that "763 friends" person are countable on one hand.

17. Stan: "If you don't have your number in your Facebook profile, why have a Facebook account?"

There's plenty of reasons, Stan. Social/professional networking, photo sharing, event planning. Basically, just because you use it solely to stalk the hell out of people (myself included), doesn't mean everyone else does.

18. I was walking to my mailbox when I saw Stan walking tough and muscular. I lol'd

19. Our professor asked us which TV scientist claimed that explosions were when "things get very large very fast." TV. Scientist. Explosions. Stan claimed that Mr. Rogers was the one who said this. Yes, endearing, sweater-wearing, Mr. Rogers.

20. I was looking for a professor and couldn't find him in his office. I then walked to his graduate students' offices, which were right outside our mailboxes. Stan arrived and was checking his mailbox while staring at me. I was peering into the windows to see if the professor was in the grad student offices. When I didn't see him, I began to open the door so I could ask one of the grad students. My hand was 2 inches from the handle when:

Stan: "Who are you looking for?"
Me: "...Professor [soandso]."
Stan: "Never heard of him."
Me: "....*opens door*"

I knew that, Stan. I also know that you don't know any of the grad students in the room.

More will come later, I'm tired.

From the Ashes.

Welcome back. I realized that this blog's popularity had far exceeded my initial expectations. I decided to restart the blog. After all, Stan will always be Stan. I have a feeling that updates will be even more sporadic since I won't interact with Stan as much as I did before, but there will be content posted.

Also, my time back here at school has shown me the wonders of young students taking freshman classes. Look to the right to see the link to what will be nicknamed the "Econ Blog."

Lastly, I found 3 entries in my notes that need to be posted. Yes, it's true, I forgot to post some content! Look for it soon.