Stan called me and told me that he had been sitting in his car for a long time. Why didn't he come back into house, you say? Apparently, he was too afraid to come out of his car because of the rain, thunder, and lightning. He was...too scared....to move....10 feet.
When he did come back inside, I was on the phone and very into my conversation on the phone. So... I didn't pay him any attention. But he really wanted my attention or something, so he knocked on my door frame and waved at me for a good minute. Until I waved him away.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Laundry and Music
Stan messaged me at work saying that he wanted to do laundry at 9 or 10 pm tonight. This isn't a huge concern to me, since I get home at the latest around 5. Regardless of whether or not he told me, if I had gotten home and done my laundry first, it gets done. For some reason, Stan thought that he "owned" the time slot from 9-10 pm and that if I was using the machines, I'd be encroaching on his time. Even if he hadn't told me beforehand.
I was listening to Rocketman in iTunes. My door was open.
Stan: "Good song."
Me: "Yup..." (common sense: "That's why I'm listening to it.")
Stan: "Rocketman."
Me: *thinking* "...did...he...just...tell me the name of the song...like I didn't know it?"
And remember, this is comment time, so whatever y'all want. I know two people are fine with what's being posted.
I was listening to Rocketman in iTunes. My door was open.
Stan: "Good song."
Me: "Yup..." (common sense: "That's why I'm listening to it.")
Stan: "Rocketman."
Me: *thinking* "...did...he...just...tell me the name of the song...like I didn't know it?"
And remember, this is comment time, so whatever y'all want. I know two people are fine with what's being posted.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
On Dishes and Comments
Stan approached me today about the dishes.
Stan: "Did you see?!?! The dishes are clean. I've been doing them after every meal."
Me: "Ok."
Forty five seconds of awkward silence followed, during which I realized that he was expecting a "thank you" for something he said he'd do like last week. And the week before that, technically.
Also, I've decided that I should do one post that's kinda dedicated to all the comments. I mean, I can't stop Stan from being himself, but I feel like sometimes the comments might get neglected. So, if there's anything you wanna know or if you'd like to hear a different story (one from before living with him, for example), let me know in the comments, and I'll try to answer them all for the next post.
Stan: "Did you see?!?! The dishes are clean. I've been doing them after every meal."
Me: "Ok."
Forty five seconds of awkward silence followed, during which I realized that he was expecting a "thank you" for something he said he'd do like last week. And the week before that, technically.
Also, I've decided that I should do one post that's kinda dedicated to all the comments. I mean, I can't stop Stan from being himself, but I feel like sometimes the comments might get neglected. So, if there's anything you wanna know or if you'd like to hear a different story (one from before living with him, for example), let me know in the comments, and I'll try to answer them all for the next post.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
More Apologies
Sorry guys, I know I missed my regular Monday update, but here's what's going on.
1. I had to eat lunch with him the other day. Probably one of the worst dining experiences ever...and I've been spit on, seen someone vomit at the table, and been surrounded by angry soccer moms with hyperactive children at McDonalds's. Thankfully, not all at the same meal. Stan eats...well....it's not so much chewing...the best analogy I can think of...is...imagine a front-loading washing machine with a clear door washing a load of colors. Just as colorful, visible, and loud.
2. At said lunch, I brought up the fact that I wasn't going to be home for a while after work. I was going to go to a farewell dinner for someone at work. I know I didn't know the guy who was leaving all that well, but I liked his company and his advice, so I thought I would pay my respects. I had emailed an RSVP several days in advance so that the dinner organizer could make reservations. This is what happened when I told him what I was doing that night.
Stan: "Really? There's a dinner for him?"
Me: "Yeah."
Stan: "Ok, I think I'll go to that."
Me: "....*thinking* The concept of reservations seems to escape him totally* Well, it's for an affinity group, so you'd be quite out of place."
Stan: "....Oh...ok."
3. At work, we are encouraged to go meet with people all over the site in order to raise awareness of who we are. My boss and several others told me to never speak to the higher ups, even though it is encouraged, unless I was solid about what I was doing and made everything look good. As such, I didn't hesitate to meet with people from other teams, departments, higher and lower rank people, no big deal. Stan has only singled out higher ups...I'm fairly certain he's wasting time, as there's only so much interest one can generate from getting a floor painted.
4. On the same topic, Stan wanted to babysit contractors as they painted the floor white. Because there's so much that can go wrong.
5. I arrived home today and found Stan outside the apartment on his phone. All of the lights were off in the apartment, so I assumed he was locked out. I assumed wrongly, thank God. However, there was a new problem:
Stan: "There's a toad at our door. Called Mr. Toad."
Me: "Ok..."
Stan: "Yeah, and he won't move."
Me: "Ok...*starts nudging toad with shoe*"
Stan: "No, that really doesn't work unless you step on him."
Me: *grabs short wood chip from garden, pushes toad away*
Stan: "Oh...yeah...I was going to do that."
I wonder why he didn't. It sure looked like he was outside for a LONG time...considering the lights inside the house were off...and he had been inside already to drop off mail.
6. Stan asked his boss about any trails nearby our house. He told Stan there was one, so he went to go look for it after work. He found it. He said he took a right off the road and wondered why everything became so bumpy. After a few minutes, he realized he was driving on the riverbank.
7. Stan said his boss came to work before him and left at the same time he did, leaving Stan to claim that he worked more hours than his boss. Normally, I'd just assume brain fart. Except he made that claim like three times in two minutes.
8. He's making his retirement account already. Seems smart? Isn't retirement account money locked away until a certain age? So...what happens before he turns gray and senile? Oop...well, gray at least.
9. Stan asked me if I ate dinner already. I'd like to assume that he doesn't think I'm like him.
10. Stan came into my room to announce that he gave his Windows PC the start up and shut down sounds that are installed on Macs. And he didn't want to confuse me. I'm confused as to why...he doesn't just buy a Mac if he apparently likes them so much.
1. I had to eat lunch with him the other day. Probably one of the worst dining experiences ever...and I've been spit on, seen someone vomit at the table, and been surrounded by angry soccer moms with hyperactive children at McDonalds's. Thankfully, not all at the same meal. Stan eats...well....it's not so much chewing...the best analogy I can think of...is...imagine a front-loading washing machine with a clear door washing a load of colors. Just as colorful, visible, and loud.
2. At said lunch, I brought up the fact that I wasn't going to be home for a while after work. I was going to go to a farewell dinner for someone at work. I know I didn't know the guy who was leaving all that well, but I liked his company and his advice, so I thought I would pay my respects. I had emailed an RSVP several days in advance so that the dinner organizer could make reservations. This is what happened when I told him what I was doing that night.
Stan: "Really? There's a dinner for him?"
Me: "Yeah."
Stan: "Ok, I think I'll go to that."
Me: "....*thinking* The concept of reservations seems to escape him totally* Well, it's for an affinity group, so you'd be quite out of place."
Stan: "....Oh...ok."
3. At work, we are encouraged to go meet with people all over the site in order to raise awareness of who we are. My boss and several others told me to never speak to the higher ups, even though it is encouraged, unless I was solid about what I was doing and made everything look good. As such, I didn't hesitate to meet with people from other teams, departments, higher and lower rank people, no big deal. Stan has only singled out higher ups...I'm fairly certain he's wasting time, as there's only so much interest one can generate from getting a floor painted.
4. On the same topic, Stan wanted to babysit contractors as they painted the floor white. Because there's so much that can go wrong.
5. I arrived home today and found Stan outside the apartment on his phone. All of the lights were off in the apartment, so I assumed he was locked out. I assumed wrongly, thank God. However, there was a new problem:
Stan: "There's a toad at our door. Called Mr. Toad."
Me: "Ok..."
Stan: "Yeah, and he won't move."
Me: "Ok...*starts nudging toad with shoe*"
Stan: "No, that really doesn't work unless you step on him."
Me: *grabs short wood chip from garden, pushes toad away*
Stan: "Oh...yeah...I was going to do that."
I wonder why he didn't. It sure looked like he was outside for a LONG time...considering the lights inside the house were off...and he had been inside already to drop off mail.
6. Stan asked his boss about any trails nearby our house. He told Stan there was one, so he went to go look for it after work. He found it. He said he took a right off the road and wondered why everything became so bumpy. After a few minutes, he realized he was driving on the riverbank.
7. Stan said his boss came to work before him and left at the same time he did, leaving Stan to claim that he worked more hours than his boss. Normally, I'd just assume brain fart. Except he made that claim like three times in two minutes.
8. He's making his retirement account already. Seems smart? Isn't retirement account money locked away until a certain age? So...what happens before he turns gray and senile? Oop...well, gray at least.
9. Stan asked me if I ate dinner already. I'd like to assume that he doesn't think I'm like him.
10. Stan came into my room to announce that he gave his Windows PC the start up and shut down sounds that are installed on Macs. And he didn't want to confuse me. I'm confused as to why...he doesn't just buy a Mac if he apparently likes them so much.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Gas Stoves
Stan: "Yeah, I had a lot of trouble with the gas stove. The first time I used it, and the way I learned how, was I played around with it for 15 minutes. I kept turning the knobs and eventually I was like 'Oh, you have to turn it all the way and it'll auto-ignite!'"
Me: "....No...I showed you how to use a gas stove." (and it took 45 seconds)
Stan: "...Oh, that's right."
Me: "....No...I showed you how to use a gas stove." (and it took 45 seconds)
Stan: "...Oh, that's right."
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Cooking
Stan doesn't use fans at all when he cooks. Although that doesn't explain why he turned OFF the exhaust fan and the ionized filter fan that were left on. But it does explain why the whole apartment smells like eggs. His sense of smell sucks because he can't sense it at all.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Big Macs
Yesterday, a young manager at work sat with Stan and I for lunch. We somehow ended up on the topic of McDonalds. The YM told us that one of the greatest combinations he had ever seen was the limited tim Double Big Mac Combo. It's 2 Big Mac's for really cheap. He always needed a drink, so he also got the Sweet Tea. The same YM said that he could never finish 2 Big Mac's, so he saved one for dinner for the next day. Of course, after lunch, we all went back to work. I ended up home earlier than Stan (as usual, since he likes to wait and sit around/do nothing), but when he did get home, we had our confrontation about him doing dishes. He had claimed that he hadn't eaten his dinner yet, and that was why he couldn't do the dishes. Yet...there he was...holding a bag from McDonalds. You can guess what was inside. Yes, he had gotten the Double Big Mac combo with a Sweet Tea.
That was yesterday. Now, what's particularly boggling is what happened today:
Stan: "Oh wow, that was amazing!"
Me: "..."
Stan: "I discovered the greatest thing ever!"
Me: "...Ok, first of all, you're 6 feet away, you can stop yelling."
Stan: "You can get a Double Big Mac combo and a Sweet Tea for really cheap and it keeps for a day! So good."
Me: "....Yeah...you definitely did not discover that since the young manager told us that yesterday at lunch. And he recommended that we try it."
Stan: "No. No. I discovered it. He talked about it, but I went out and found the truth. This is what I do at work too; people may tell me things or how to do something, but I'm the one who does everything."
Me: "..."
I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. When our internet wasn't working, I tried for 3 days on the router and software side to get them fixed. When Stan showed up, he had no idea how to do anything, so he called his grandfather, who told him how to wire up and test everything on the house side of the connection. After he got a working connection, he ended his conversation with his grandfather, and I went and configured everything to work with the routers and software since he had no idea what he was doing. For example, the router/modem that we used had a very weak wifi signal, so I connected a stronger router to it and configured passwords and everything. The router called for a 128 bit password, and only a 128 bit password. Stan's computer could not recognize 128 bit passwords and kept popping up with an error message saying that the password was too long for a 64 bit key. He came over and asked me 5 times why it was screwed up and if I was doing anything wrong. Eventually, I had to show him the process of what I did and prove to him that he had to use a 128 bit password.
Anyway, we did get the internet working. When we found out the next day that every person who lived there and worked at our office could never get the internet working, he didn't hesitate to say that he fixed it.
I think...on the last post of this blog...I will reveal identities. Either that or when I know I won't see him again.
That was yesterday. Now, what's particularly boggling is what happened today:
Stan: "Oh wow, that was amazing!"
Me: "..."
Stan: "I discovered the greatest thing ever!"
Me: "...Ok, first of all, you're 6 feet away, you can stop yelling."
Stan: "You can get a Double Big Mac combo and a Sweet Tea for really cheap and it keeps for a day! So good."
Me: "....Yeah...you definitely did not discover that since the young manager told us that yesterday at lunch. And he recommended that we try it."
Stan: "No. No. I discovered it. He talked about it, but I went out and found the truth. This is what I do at work too; people may tell me things or how to do something, but I'm the one who does everything."
Me: "..."
I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. When our internet wasn't working, I tried for 3 days on the router and software side to get them fixed. When Stan showed up, he had no idea how to do anything, so he called his grandfather, who told him how to wire up and test everything on the house side of the connection. After he got a working connection, he ended his conversation with his grandfather, and I went and configured everything to work with the routers and software since he had no idea what he was doing. For example, the router/modem that we used had a very weak wifi signal, so I connected a stronger router to it and configured passwords and everything. The router called for a 128 bit password, and only a 128 bit password. Stan's computer could not recognize 128 bit passwords and kept popping up with an error message saying that the password was too long for a 64 bit key. He came over and asked me 5 times why it was screwed up and if I was doing anything wrong. Eventually, I had to show him the process of what I did and prove to him that he had to use a 128 bit password.
Anyway, we did get the internet working. When we found out the next day that every person who lived there and worked at our office could never get the internet working, he didn't hesitate to say that he fixed it.
I think...on the last post of this blog...I will reveal identities. Either that or when I know I won't see him again.
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