Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Like a Phoenix...

Hey,

So, the real Stan has moved on past my jurisdiction. The latest thing I know is that he opened his big mouth for a magazine and talked about how amazing his major is for getting him a job he "didn't fit into" (or deserve, but the article didn't mention that...neither did he)...granted, that industry loves ChemE's...so...technically, not a big surprise...oh wait...you say you're in the paper and pulp industry? Stan, you're oh so wrong again! You're in consumer products.

Nevertheless, his reign of terror has momentarily ended. But...can Stan ever truly...move on? There will always be a Stan. None will ever surpass the original (I pray), but I think I have found a decent enough substitute for now. He has chosen, through his actions, attitude, and asshole-ishness (at times) to take up the sacred mantle, and his stories shall be told here.

Stan I: 2006-2009.
Stan II: 2009-

1. Stan II shares a few attributes with his forebear...interrupting conversations, stuck-up "I'm better than you" attitude, lack of social skills...not to the same extremes, but he adds one more dimension: whining. S2 whines about every possible disturbance in his life. And based off his reactions, if something slightly bad happens to him, it becomes the worst thing to happen to anyone ever.

2. S2 asked me to help me move his stuff into his room. I said sure, but I wouldn't be back for an hour. He said he'd wait. So, I get back to the dorm and call him up. In an hour, he had managed to find a cart to move all of his stuff. Great, I think, all the stuff will move faster. Then he opens his car.

All of his stuff is in small boxes and none of them are heavy. He waited an hour for me to help him move stuff he could have easily moved by himself within that same time period...it took us like 20-25 minutes to move it all.

Then, he talked on the phone while I unloaded his stuff from the car. He also insisted on showing me everything and anything he found interesting in his pile of stuff.

S2, how could a machete be useful in a dorm. Fer srs. Why did you bring a space heater with you if you're specifically prohibited from bringing them? Why on earth do you have so much stuff to fit in a 10x15 DOUBLE?

3. S2 insists on not taking notes in some of our classes...then he gets surprised when he doesn't know a technique we learned in class. He also got upset when he missed a TA office hour...because he arranged for a meeting with a professor at the same time.

4. S2 is extraordinarily condescending in tone when you ask him for help...even though he is one of only a few ChemE's who can't extract data from a steam table or who have never seen a Mollier diagram.

5. S2 learned thermodynamics from the professor who wrote the book we're getting example problems from. As expected, he has a big head about it. Surprisingly, he never understands the problems we do from the book...even though he has a copy of the book...and has surely done all of them before.

6. S2 has a girlfriend...that he yells at when she asks him for help on questions and she doesn't get it after a poor explanation.

OH

7. I've had several discussions with S2 on how to do some of our homework problems. Several times, we disagree on something...and he always insists he is right...even when I prove him wrong. He then claims that we were talking about something different to begin with. Granted, if you rewind the conversations...that's obviously not true.

8. You've taken...what'd you tell me...3 classes of linear algebra? How do you NOT know that the complex conjugate of a real, symmetric matrix (Hermitian) is its transpose? It's on frakking wiki. The professor TOLD US in class.

9. We get it. You're mixed Chinese and German. That does not make you specially diverse. Stop talking and bragging about it.

10. I have a new Macbook Pro. We are all in agreement that it is shiny. However, I do not feel comfortable when you say:

"I like my black Macbook, but every time I look at your computer, I fly into a jealous rage."

2 comments:

Ka Ning said...

he sounds like a mixture of Sheldon and S1. I guess props for him for managing to have a gf.

nadinesilke said...

The adventure continues!

I find it hard to believe that anyone, anywhere could measure up to S1, but if this one does. . .I'm so sorry. . . Glad we get to hear about it though! :)