So, our shower is in a very small and poorly ventilated bathroom. It is also sort of like a glass booth. As such, every time I shower, I make sure to leave the shower door open so that all the moisture can dry faster, therby discouraging mildew, mold, and what have you from forming. Stan has never left the door open. Ever.
Stan: "I'm going to shower now."
Me: "Ok, as long as you mean it this time."
Stan: "What?"
Me: "Last time you showered at night, you said you were going to shower between 9 and 930, and you showered at 1030, when I wanted and normally shower."
Stan: "Sorry."
Me: "Make sure to leave the shower door open from now on, though."
Stan: "What?"
Me: "....You know why, right?"
Stan: *With attitude* "So that nothing grows..."
Me: "Right."
Stan: "Well, I always leave the door open."
Me: "....No. No, you don't. You always leave the door closed."
Stan: *long pause* "That must be the door slamming whenever I leave for work in the morning!"
Me: "..."
Stan: "There's always the sound of a door slamming whenever I shut the outside door. That must be it. I always leave the shower door open."
Me: "....Well, whatever, but it's always closed whenever I come home....and you're the only other person living here."
Stan: "No, I always leave the door open. *leaves*"
Well...no...even when he showers at night, he leaves the door closed. I know because I shower later and the room is moist...and the door is shut.
Also, it's been 15 mins, and he still hasn't gone to shower.
*Edit*
So, Stan walked by 20 mins after he said he was going to shower and he was "on the phone." Dunno if he just did that "look I'm important" thing again, but in any case, I needed to use the bathroom and I didn't want to wait in case he stayed on the phone for a long time. So I grabbed my shower stuff and went. As I'm using the bathroom:
Stan: "Um. In case you didn't notice my stuff is in the shower."
Me: "....Ok..."
Stan: "Yeah."
Me: "It's been over 20 mins."
Stan: "Well, 20 mins ago, I said I was going to be in the shower within 15 minutes."
*Silence except for me USING THE BATHROOM*
Stan: "....So, that's still within margin of error."
Me: *Thinking* "Stan, this is not Orgo where the professor took pity on you and bumped your grade up: 33% is not a good number and is definitely not a B-."
Me: "Ok."
Silence as I'm now washing my hands and not coming out.
Stan: "What're you going to do with my stuff?"
Me: "...Put it on the sink."
Stan: "Ok, thanks."
*Sound of angry footsteps*
Me: *loudly* "Try to be more reliable, Stan!"
If I actually could trust him, I wouldn't have cared that he was 5 mins late. But, he's proven time and time again that I just can't trust him.
*End Edit*
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Quiet Times
Hey all,
I believe that this blog will start slowing down soon with new content. Stan is spending less time around me (or is it vice versa), so I'm getting less things to write about. I believe I'll try posting on old stuff that made us all come to know the Stan we love so much.
Honestly, all that happened today was that he scared the crap out of me when he got home. I was in the bathroom and I heard him walk in and to his room. After I finished up and washed my hands, I walked back to my room. I swear, the millisecond he saw part of my hand he just screamed "I'M BACK."
Also, I don't know about what he did for the rest of the day, but it seems as if no one wants to talk to him lately. I haven't heard him on the phone at all. He also stopped sleeping upstairs where he and Naseem slept. Something tells me he told her that he started sleeping there for reasons other than what he told me (better reception, pretty much a lie since he told me he gets decent reception everywhere in the house until you go outside) and she told him he was creeping her the fuck out.
If you guys get bored, you can go check out my real blog, if you want. Less bashing, more openness, and sometimes I post items that you all know me for.
Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I believe that this blog will start slowing down soon with new content. Stan is spending less time around me (or is it vice versa), so I'm getting less things to write about. I believe I'll try posting on old stuff that made us all come to know the Stan we love so much.
Honestly, all that happened today was that he scared the crap out of me when he got home. I was in the bathroom and I heard him walk in and to his room. After I finished up and washed my hands, I walked back to my room. I swear, the millisecond he saw part of my hand he just screamed "I'M BACK."
Also, I don't know about what he did for the rest of the day, but it seems as if no one wants to talk to him lately. I haven't heard him on the phone at all. He also stopped sleeping upstairs where he and Naseem slept. Something tells me he told her that he started sleeping there for reasons other than what he told me (better reception, pretty much a lie since he told me he gets decent reception everywhere in the house until you go outside) and she told him he was creeping her the fuck out.
If you guys get bored, you can go check out my real blog, if you want. Less bashing, more openness, and sometimes I post items that you all know me for.
Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Stan and the Sink Again
1. Remember how Stan said he couldn't tell when the green dish detergent was running low? Here's a picture of the green (I use) and the blue (he uses). Apparently, I'm quite frugal with the detergent as I told him we were running low a few weeks ago.
Notice how visible my detergent is. Yet the blue one you can't see, as I claimed before.
2. Stan failed again at washing something and leaving it in the sink. Observe.
Although this time he has pretty much no excuse; he didn't even go to work today. Our quality checker took him out on a shelf audit, where we inspect quality of our products as they sit on the shelves.
I'm a little disturbed for his department, since I'm under the impression that he's done pretty much no work for the last 3 weeks. Even less work than usual. I think it's because he has no one to copy/steal ideas or work from since his last 2 projects are actually projects and not busy work.
3. Stan: "Ok, I'm leaving, have a good break."
Me: "Yeah, you too."
Stan: "I-What?"
Me: "......I said 'you too.'"
Stan: "Oh. Ok. Well, I'll see ya sometime *something I didn't hear because I said 'Ok, bye'*. You never know when I'll show up."
Notice how visible my detergent is. Yet the blue one you can't see, as I claimed before.
2. Stan failed again at washing something and leaving it in the sink. Observe.
Although this time he has pretty much no excuse; he didn't even go to work today. Our quality checker took him out on a shelf audit, where we inspect quality of our products as they sit on the shelves.
I'm a little disturbed for his department, since I'm under the impression that he's done pretty much no work for the last 3 weeks. Even less work than usual. I think it's because he has no one to copy/steal ideas or work from since his last 2 projects are actually projects and not busy work.
3. Stan: "Ok, I'm leaving, have a good break."
Me: "Yeah, you too."
Stan: "I-What?"
Me: "......I said 'you too.'"
Stan: "Oh. Ok. Well, I'll see ya sometime *something I didn't hear because I said 'Ok, bye'*. You never know when I'll show up."
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Privacy
1. I was going to the bathroom to take a shower when I decided to go check on my laundry in the dryer first. You know, to see if it was dry or how much time was left in the cycle. Imagine my surprise when I hear the dryer stop rotating and the door wide open. With Stan elbows deep into the dryer.
Me: "WHOA, WHAT are you doing?!?!"
Now it's not like he was even doing laundry. The washer was totally empty and he had no clothes with him. He was litterally just going through my clothes in the dryer.
Stan: "I saw a bottle of bleach sitting on the washer and I was worried that you used it."
Me: "........."
Stan: "Sorry."
Me: "Stan, for the last time, I'm not retarded, and that's not my bleach."
Stan: "Ok, I just wanted to check."
Me: "Can you not touch my stuff? Ever? It isn't yours."
Stan: *very defensive* "I was checking to see if you used bleach!"
Me: "They're not your clothes! I don't appreciate you just rifling through my clothes!"
Stan: *defensive* "Fine, I better just get some sleep."
2. Stan: "Can you deal with these apples?"
Me: "Can you take the trash out?"
Stan: "I'll do it tomorrow as it's dark and rainy out."
No. No, it wasn't. Dark, yes. But it had finished raining hours ago. The ground was just wet. How do I know this? Because I went and got stuff out of my car right when he got home.
3. Stan: "My heater or something is acting up, so I'm going to go try to get it looked at or fixed."
Me: "Great."
Stan: "Yeah, but I guess I have to go to a Honda dealership to keep it under warranty right?"
No, Stan, of course other car companies will work on your Honda for no charge since they'll file it under a competitor's warranty. Even though they don't have the parts. And the car is engineered differently. And the service people aren't trained for it.
4. I had to leave town to handle a few issues. The next morning Stan messaged me at work:
Stan: "Did you come home at all last night?"
No, I didn't. You would know if I did as you would've seen lights (as always) going into the driveway. And you also would've heard the car horn go off when I locked the car. But moving on.
Stan: "Yeah, I'll do the dishes that are in the sink tonight."
.....So...he can't do the dishes when I'm gone. Even when he has a guest. When I went home, it was the same story; dishes were barely rinsed and the glasses had milk in them still.
5. Last night, I lost control of my car and wound up stuck in a ditch for an hour. This morning, Stan knocked on my door.
Stan: "Are you aware that it's 7 am?"
Me: "Yeah. Not going into work today, need to get my car looked at since I lost control last night and ended up in a ditch for an hour."
Stan: "Yeah, the snow was bad last night. That's why I called you to say that I was surprised by the sudden snow storm. I slept upstairs last night where me and Naseem usually sleep since I'm waiting for the line to call me so I can observe a dust blowdown and there's better reception in that room so that when they call me at like 2am, I know when I can go in and see everything. Anyway, bye."
I like how much compassion he showed to me. Not even an "are you ok," just "here's what i'm doing and why."
Me: "WHOA, WHAT are you doing?!?!"
Now it's not like he was even doing laundry. The washer was totally empty and he had no clothes with him. He was litterally just going through my clothes in the dryer.
Stan: "I saw a bottle of bleach sitting on the washer and I was worried that you used it."
Me: "........."
Stan: "Sorry."
Me: "Stan, for the last time, I'm not retarded, and that's not my bleach."
Stan: "Ok, I just wanted to check."
Me: "Can you not touch my stuff? Ever? It isn't yours."
Stan: *very defensive* "I was checking to see if you used bleach!"
Me: "They're not your clothes! I don't appreciate you just rifling through my clothes!"
Stan: *defensive* "Fine, I better just get some sleep."
2. Stan: "Can you deal with these apples?"
Me: "Can you take the trash out?"
Stan: "I'll do it tomorrow as it's dark and rainy out."
No. No, it wasn't. Dark, yes. But it had finished raining hours ago. The ground was just wet. How do I know this? Because I went and got stuff out of my car right when he got home.
3. Stan: "My heater or something is acting up, so I'm going to go try to get it looked at or fixed."
Me: "Great."
Stan: "Yeah, but I guess I have to go to a Honda dealership to keep it under warranty right?"
No, Stan, of course other car companies will work on your Honda for no charge since they'll file it under a competitor's warranty. Even though they don't have the parts. And the car is engineered differently. And the service people aren't trained for it.
4. I had to leave town to handle a few issues. The next morning Stan messaged me at work:
Stan: "Did you come home at all last night?"
No, I didn't. You would know if I did as you would've seen lights (as always) going into the driveway. And you also would've heard the car horn go off when I locked the car. But moving on.
Stan: "Yeah, I'll do the dishes that are in the sink tonight."
.....So...he can't do the dishes when I'm gone. Even when he has a guest. When I went home, it was the same story; dishes were barely rinsed and the glasses had milk in them still.
5. Last night, I lost control of my car and wound up stuck in a ditch for an hour. This morning, Stan knocked on my door.
Stan: "Are you aware that it's 7 am?"
Me: "Yeah. Not going into work today, need to get my car looked at since I lost control last night and ended up in a ditch for an hour."
Stan: "Yeah, the snow was bad last night. That's why I called you to say that I was surprised by the sudden snow storm. I slept upstairs last night where me and Naseem usually sleep since I'm waiting for the line to call me so I can observe a dust blowdown and there's better reception in that room so that when they call me at like 2am, I know when I can go in and see everything. Anyway, bye."
I like how much compassion he showed to me. Not even an "are you ok," just "here's what i'm doing and why."
Monday, November 12, 2007
Stan and Girls Redux
1. So there I was, sitting down eating my dinner. Big big bowl of pasta with lots of tomato sauce. Mushroom and garlic, the jar said. I was lazy and didn't really "make" anything tonight. Stan had seen me pour the sauce and pasta into a white bowl and mix it all up. Three minutes after I started eating:
Stan: "Mmm. Pasta."
Me: "....Yup."
....Stan, I really don't need you telling me what I'm eating if I know full well what it is.
2. I like to play music from my room when I'm eating. And I don't mind when people hum along to the song. However, I do mind if someone butchers the song.
I don't believe Stan had ever heard "Sweet Child o'Mine" before, because when he was trying to hum the melody/solo, he was...I don't even know. For all I know, he mighta been sending musical signals to the Moon. Cept the aliens there would STILL be confused and probably be like "yo, that fucker needs to shut the fuck up, we're trying to rock out to some Guns N Roses here."
3. Stan: "Yeah, my next few days are extremely busy. CPR classes tomorrow and Wednesday, Naseem coming over on Thursday. Just busy."
Me: "Whoa, wait, she's coming back on Thursday?"
Stan: "Yyyyyeah."
Me: "....Do you wanna give me more advance notice?"
Stan: "I'm telling you the second I'm sure."
Me: "...."
Stan: "We decided on my drive home today."
Me: *thinking, Stan, you've been home for 30 mins now* "...Ok, well, the way you said it made it sound like I was already supposed to know...."
Stan: "...Oh. Sorry. I just grouped it into my CPR classes, which I told you last week about."
Yes, I gave her real name. Yes, I'm aware that it makes this blog very much not anonymous anymore, but I don't care. I just feel like a dick like Stan doesn't deserve any sort of attention from girls if he's just going to group his girlfriend in with CPR classes. One SHOULD be more important than the others.
Also, he's the least considerate roommate ever. He's bringing a girl over...and tells me like...not even 3 days in advance. And we won't even really see each other the next 2 days. If he hadn't had let it slip tonight, I would never have known until Thursday night.
Lastly, I feel like I don't know everyone who's commenting on this blog. Send an email to coworkerofstan@gmail.com if you wanna clue me in.
Stan: "Mmm. Pasta."
Me: "....Yup."
....Stan, I really don't need you telling me what I'm eating if I know full well what it is.
2. I like to play music from my room when I'm eating. And I don't mind when people hum along to the song. However, I do mind if someone butchers the song.
I don't believe Stan had ever heard "Sweet Child o'Mine" before, because when he was trying to hum the melody/solo, he was...I don't even know. For all I know, he mighta been sending musical signals to the Moon. Cept the aliens there would STILL be confused and probably be like "yo, that fucker needs to shut the fuck up, we're trying to rock out to some Guns N Roses here."
3. Stan: "Yeah, my next few days are extremely busy. CPR classes tomorrow and Wednesday, Naseem coming over on Thursday. Just busy."
Me: "Whoa, wait, she's coming back on Thursday?"
Stan: "Yyyyyeah."
Me: "....Do you wanna give me more advance notice?"
Stan: "I'm telling you the second I'm sure."
Me: "...."
Stan: "We decided on my drive home today."
Me: *thinking, Stan, you've been home for 30 mins now* "...Ok, well, the way you said it made it sound like I was already supposed to know...."
Stan: "...Oh. Sorry. I just grouped it into my CPR classes, which I told you last week about."
Yes, I gave her real name. Yes, I'm aware that it makes this blog very much not anonymous anymore, but I don't care. I just feel like a dick like Stan doesn't deserve any sort of attention from girls if he's just going to group his girlfriend in with CPR classes. One SHOULD be more important than the others.
Also, he's the least considerate roommate ever. He's bringing a girl over...and tells me like...not even 3 days in advance. And we won't even really see each other the next 2 days. If he hadn't had let it slip tonight, I would never have known until Thursday night.
Lastly, I feel like I don't know everyone who's commenting on this blog. Send an email to coworkerofstan@gmail.com if you wanna clue me in.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Stan and Girls
1. Stan walked into the house, past me, to his room, and was silent for 25 seconds. As in, he saw me, kept going for 30 feet, and stood still. He then yelled down the hall "You got mail today! I left it on your luggage in the hallway!"
I don't understand why he didn't just hand it to me or leave it right in front of me, but whatever.
2. Stan: "I told our landlady that my friend is coming over tomorrow and staying the night. 'Friend.'"
Me: "....That's nice."
Stan: "Yup."
Me: "Did you ever plan on telling your roommate?" (I told him a week in advance that I was having guests over)
Stan: *Dead silence for a full minute* "Roommate?"
Me: "...."
Stan: "Oh, you. Yes, well I didn't know until about 20 mins ago."
Me: "....You've been home for like 15."
3. Me: "So are you two dating?"
Stan: "I dunno. We hung out three times, and I think we have something."
4. It has been extremely awkward these past two days as every time he opens his mouth, he mentions something about "needing privacy." It was interesting seeing our landlady's face as he told her what was going on as she looked quite uncomfortable.
5. Stan: "Your interview is tomorrow!"
Me: "...Yeah."
Stan: "Ok, I'm sure MY Outlook will tell me. I love that feature."
We've basically had the same Outlook the entire time. Why he assumes that I don't know about the calendar alert feature, I have no idea. Especially since I've told him like five times that I use Outlook on my computer.
6. Stan: "First thing I did was change the colors of MY Outlook. Dark blue. So much better now."
Me: "....*sigh, continues prep work for dinner/cookies*"
7. Stan: "My boss says I'm the best intern in my department!"
Me: "...."
Stan: "But then I told him I was the only one."
8. Stan: "Thanksgiving is in two weeks!"
Me: "...."
Stan: "I didn't realize it was so soon, but I just remembered that Nov 1st was a Thursday, so Thanksgiving is coming as quickly as possible."
Me: *thinking* "...It...is always...the 4th Thursday of November...I don't see how this is a big deal."
9. Stan: "If my friend and I are too loud at night, just knock on the door and let us know."
Me: *shiver*
10. Stan paced nervously for about 15 minutes while talking about the most random and dumbest crap. He then brushed his teeth and spent 20 mins shaving.
11. I got a big package from UPS today.
Stan: "What's in the package?"
Me: "Lens."
Stan: ".........................OH for your camera!"
Me: "..........."
Stan: "I thought you meant a lens for a telescope. The box is so big!"
We...do not...have a telescope. Or anything remotely close to a telescope.
12. Stan: "Hey, can you keep the toilet seat down?"
Me: *thinking* "I haven't used this bathroom yet today besides in the morning. In fact, he used it about 3 minutes ago." "I always leave the seat down."
Stan: "Oh. So I guess it's been me leaving the seat up this whole time."
13. His guest arrived, and he opened the door. He promptly left her outside and walked back into the house. I ended up seeing his guest in.
14. This turned out to be a real date. It was supremely awkward when they shut the door to the basement as they like...tackled the door. I thought there was a rape going on, truthfully. She seems...like she wants attention. She's quite plain and kinda chubby, so I don't think she's ever gotten attention like this before. I don't know if this is the same girl he's been trying to see.
15. As they were leaving for dinner, I was playing with my new lens.
Stan: "What's the optical zoom on that?"
Me: "....This is an SLR. Those numbers don't mean anything."
Stan: "...."
Me: "....It is a 70-200mm lens."
Stan: "So, like not even 3x optical zoom?"
Me: ".....Ok, I just told you that those numbers don't mean anything. It's more than a standard 50 mm lens."
Stan: "Even my camera has 12x optical zoom."
Me: "....*deep sigh*"
Stan: "You take better pictures than me though."
Me: "...*thinking* I certainly hope so."
16. Stan did some recycling today. Remember how I've made a big deal about separating everything?
Apparently, Stan lives in a world where plastic bottles and aluminum cans make babies with each other.
17. To give you a scope as to what it's like to go on a date with Stan.
You go to dinner.
You come back from dinner.
He ditches you in the house for 3 hours, even though you drove 30 mins to get here and will have to drive 30+ mins back for school tomorrow morning.
He sleeps with you. This part, I don't know. All I know is that they're in the same bed, and what sounds like stampeding is happening.
I don't understand why he didn't just hand it to me or leave it right in front of me, but whatever.
2. Stan: "I told our landlady that my friend is coming over tomorrow and staying the night. 'Friend.'"
Me: "....That's nice."
Stan: "Yup."
Me: "Did you ever plan on telling your roommate?" (I told him a week in advance that I was having guests over)
Stan: *Dead silence for a full minute* "Roommate?"
Me: "...."
Stan: "Oh, you. Yes, well I didn't know until about 20 mins ago."
Me: "....You've been home for like 15."
3. Me: "So are you two dating?"
Stan: "I dunno. We hung out three times, and I think we have something."
4. It has been extremely awkward these past two days as every time he opens his mouth, he mentions something about "needing privacy." It was interesting seeing our landlady's face as he told her what was going on as she looked quite uncomfortable.
5. Stan: "Your interview is tomorrow!"
Me: "...Yeah."
Stan: "Ok, I'm sure MY Outlook will tell me. I love that feature."
We've basically had the same Outlook the entire time. Why he assumes that I don't know about the calendar alert feature, I have no idea. Especially since I've told him like five times that I use Outlook on my computer.
6. Stan: "First thing I did was change the colors of MY Outlook. Dark blue. So much better now."
Me: "....*sigh, continues prep work for dinner/cookies*"
7. Stan: "My boss says I'm the best intern in my department!"
Me: "...."
Stan: "But then I told him I was the only one."
8. Stan: "Thanksgiving is in two weeks!"
Me: "...."
Stan: "I didn't realize it was so soon, but I just remembered that Nov 1st was a Thursday, so Thanksgiving is coming as quickly as possible."
Me: *thinking* "...It...is always...the 4th Thursday of November...I don't see how this is a big deal."
9. Stan: "If my friend and I are too loud at night, just knock on the door and let us know."
Me: *shiver*
10. Stan paced nervously for about 15 minutes while talking about the most random and dumbest crap. He then brushed his teeth and spent 20 mins shaving.
11. I got a big package from UPS today.
Stan: "What's in the package?"
Me: "Lens."
Stan: ".........................OH for your camera!"
Me: "..........."
Stan: "I thought you meant a lens for a telescope. The box is so big!"
We...do not...have a telescope. Or anything remotely close to a telescope.
12. Stan: "Hey, can you keep the toilet seat down?"
Me: *thinking* "I haven't used this bathroom yet today besides in the morning. In fact, he used it about 3 minutes ago." "I always leave the seat down."
Stan: "Oh. So I guess it's been me leaving the seat up this whole time."
13. His guest arrived, and he opened the door. He promptly left her outside and walked back into the house. I ended up seeing his guest in.
14. This turned out to be a real date. It was supremely awkward when they shut the door to the basement as they like...tackled the door. I thought there was a rape going on, truthfully. She seems...like she wants attention. She's quite plain and kinda chubby, so I don't think she's ever gotten attention like this before. I don't know if this is the same girl he's been trying to see.
15. As they were leaving for dinner, I was playing with my new lens.
Stan: "What's the optical zoom on that?"
Me: "....This is an SLR. Those numbers don't mean anything."
Stan: "...."
Me: "....It is a 70-200mm lens."
Stan: "So, like not even 3x optical zoom?"
Me: ".....Ok, I just told you that those numbers don't mean anything. It's more than a standard 50 mm lens."
Stan: "Even my camera has 12x optical zoom."
Me: "....*deep sigh*"
Stan: "You take better pictures than me though."
Me: "...*thinking* I certainly hope so."
16. Stan did some recycling today. Remember how I've made a big deal about separating everything?
Apparently, Stan lives in a world where plastic bottles and aluminum cans make babies with each other.
17. To give you a scope as to what it's like to go on a date with Stan.
You go to dinner.
You come back from dinner.
He ditches you in the house for 3 hours, even though you drove 30 mins to get here and will have to drive 30+ mins back for school tomorrow morning.
He sleeps with you. This part, I don't know. All I know is that they're in the same bed, and what sounds like stampeding is happening.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Periodicity
I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I've had a total of 3 roommates in my life. One was a kleptomaniac. The second turned out to be a pothead. Who didn't share. And ate my food. And the third is Stan. I can honestly say I'd rather have either the klepto or the pothead as a roommate right now.
1. Stan and his family owned an HP or Gateway desktop tower. Something went funny with the power supply, and they didn't know what to do. Apparently, Stan called customer support and asked what could be done.
Stan: "Our computer was having problems with the power supply and because it has special clip things, we can't replace it with a different one from the store. So I called Customer Support and asked what they could do and they told me that the computer was still under warranty and that they could ship us a new power supply. So I ordered one and bingo, the computer was fixed and because I was smart we didn't have to worry about voiding our warranty."
Yes. Hence, why they have proprietary hardware in stock, in case such a situation arises.
2. I had bought a 9 pack of toilet paper about 4 weeks ago. Today,
Stan: "We're running low on toilet paper. Should I go buy some?"
Me: "Really? How much is left?"
Stan: "4 rolls."
Me: "......*thinking* It took us 4 weeks...with two guests for a few days...to go through 5 rolls...I'm pretty sure that we're not low on toilet paper."
*out loud*
"Yeah, sure go buy some."
Stan: "What kind?"
Me: "....The kind we make that feels like what we have..."
Stan: "We make like 10 different products."
Me: "....Ok...buy *name of product*."
Here's the thing. Yes, we make a variety of products. However, we clearly do not use all of them. There are three categories of product we make on site: toilet paper, paper towel, and diapers. Ignoring diapers (we make at least 10 SKU's of diapers, so Stan's already wrong), there's toilet paper and paper towel left. Well, of the paper towel, we have 5 general types that are on site...except 3 of them are experimental and aren't for sale. So, 2 products. Now, there are different combinations and factors of those 2 products that can lead to 20 permutations. Except we're talking about paper towels. And he wanted to buy toilet paper. Of that, we have 3 types. Each type has 3-4 levels. How are the levels different? Size. How are the types different? DRASTICALLY.
3. I sent him an invite to attend my mid term presentation. I actually sent it twice; I had a list of 30 people who got the invite, but I realized that I forgot a few and resent the invite out, hoping that Outlook would be smart enough to not send it to people who already got the invite. I was wrong. Anyway, Stan got two copies of the invite, which clearly listed date, time, and location. He even confirmed with me all three of those things. I was going to have my presentation on Friday. Imagine my surprise when Stan came up to me today and said this:
Stan: "I thought your presentation was on Monday."
4. Friday morning, I forgot to throw some old salad out of the fridge. Today,
Stan: "I noticed that the fridge is starting to smell and some old salad is in there."
Me: "Oh, yeah, I forgot to take care of that on Friday."
Stan: "Mmm, well, can you follow up on the salad soon?"
....Is he...trying to be a manager...or use managerial vocabulary at home?
5. I know what Stan ate for dinner today. I know he ate a frozen pizza, drank 2 Pepsi MAX's, used a glass, a plate, and had yogurt. How do I know these things? He left a plate with grease on it, a glass, knife, fork, and yogurt cup in the sink when he went out tonight. He also left a frozen pizza box and two soda bottles on the floor next to the garbage can.
Obviously, he hasn't learned anything at all. So I asked him when he got home:
Me: "Stan, can you-"
Stan: "The dishes? Yeah, I'll take care of that now."
Me: "And?"
Stan: "And what?"
Me: "What about the recycling?"
Stan: "*angrily* What about the recycling?"
Me: "*annoyed sigh* .....We talked about this before."
Stan: "...Yeah, I'll do that too. Sorry, I was doing too much before."
What was he doing before? He was sitting in his room for 1.5-2 hours. He told me at work he'd "drop by between 5 and 6, eat a bit, and head out." He showed up at 5, left at 630-645.
Then, after he said he'd take care of it, I noticed that everything was still sitting around. I went downstairs to get him off the phone and take care of it.
Me: "Stan, are you slow or are you trying to get me angry? In any case, do the dishes and stuff."
Stan: "I'm on the phone helping my sister with a math problem."
Me: "You weren't busy before."
Stan: "Well, I just read an email saying to help her before 11 and its 1045 right now."
Me: "Wow...You're very reliable aren't you?"
6. Stan walked into his door or doorframe (I couldn't see), said ow, and immediately started making hurt dog sounds to himself.
7. Stan has been reading Fortune magazine lately. One every week. Except, I used to read Fortune and I know it's monthly, not weekly. So imagine my surprise when I saw him reading a new one every week. The first one had the address label still attached. All the other ones had them missing. I guess he was trying to look smart by reading the magazines, and didn't want people to know that he just took them from his family.
But, I don't think you'll be very knowledgable or intelligent-looking by reading 4 month old magazines.
1. Stan and his family owned an HP or Gateway desktop tower. Something went funny with the power supply, and they didn't know what to do. Apparently, Stan called customer support and asked what could be done.
Stan: "Our computer was having problems with the power supply and because it has special clip things, we can't replace it with a different one from the store. So I called Customer Support and asked what they could do and they told me that the computer was still under warranty and that they could ship us a new power supply. So I ordered one and bingo, the computer was fixed and because I was smart we didn't have to worry about voiding our warranty."
Yes. Hence, why they have proprietary hardware in stock, in case such a situation arises.
2. I had bought a 9 pack of toilet paper about 4 weeks ago. Today,
Stan: "We're running low on toilet paper. Should I go buy some?"
Me: "Really? How much is left?"
Stan: "4 rolls."
Me: "......*thinking* It took us 4 weeks...with two guests for a few days...to go through 5 rolls...I'm pretty sure that we're not low on toilet paper."
*out loud*
"Yeah, sure go buy some."
Stan: "What kind?"
Me: "....The kind we make that feels like what we have..."
Stan: "We make like 10 different products."
Me: "....Ok...buy *name of product*."
Here's the thing. Yes, we make a variety of products. However, we clearly do not use all of them. There are three categories of product we make on site: toilet paper, paper towel, and diapers. Ignoring diapers (we make at least 10 SKU's of diapers, so Stan's already wrong), there's toilet paper and paper towel left. Well, of the paper towel, we have 5 general types that are on site...except 3 of them are experimental and aren't for sale. So, 2 products. Now, there are different combinations and factors of those 2 products that can lead to 20 permutations. Except we're talking about paper towels. And he wanted to buy toilet paper. Of that, we have 3 types. Each type has 3-4 levels. How are the levels different? Size. How are the types different? DRASTICALLY.
3. I sent him an invite to attend my mid term presentation. I actually sent it twice; I had a list of 30 people who got the invite, but I realized that I forgot a few and resent the invite out, hoping that Outlook would be smart enough to not send it to people who already got the invite. I was wrong. Anyway, Stan got two copies of the invite, which clearly listed date, time, and location. He even confirmed with me all three of those things. I was going to have my presentation on Friday. Imagine my surprise when Stan came up to me today and said this:
Stan: "I thought your presentation was on Monday."
4. Friday morning, I forgot to throw some old salad out of the fridge. Today,
Stan: "I noticed that the fridge is starting to smell and some old salad is in there."
Me: "Oh, yeah, I forgot to take care of that on Friday."
Stan: "Mmm, well, can you follow up on the salad soon?"
....Is he...trying to be a manager...or use managerial vocabulary at home?
5. I know what Stan ate for dinner today. I know he ate a frozen pizza, drank 2 Pepsi MAX's, used a glass, a plate, and had yogurt. How do I know these things? He left a plate with grease on it, a glass, knife, fork, and yogurt cup in the sink when he went out tonight. He also left a frozen pizza box and two soda bottles on the floor next to the garbage can.
Obviously, he hasn't learned anything at all. So I asked him when he got home:
Me: "Stan, can you-"
Stan: "The dishes? Yeah, I'll take care of that now."
Me: "And?"
Stan: "And what?"
Me: "What about the recycling?"
Stan: "*angrily* What about the recycling?"
Me: "*annoyed sigh* .....We talked about this before."
Stan: "...Yeah, I'll do that too. Sorry, I was doing too much before."
What was he doing before? He was sitting in his room for 1.5-2 hours. He told me at work he'd "drop by between 5 and 6, eat a bit, and head out." He showed up at 5, left at 630-645.
Then, after he said he'd take care of it, I noticed that everything was still sitting around. I went downstairs to get him off the phone and take care of it.
Me: "Stan, are you slow or are you trying to get me angry? In any case, do the dishes and stuff."
Stan: "I'm on the phone helping my sister with a math problem."
Me: "You weren't busy before."
Stan: "Well, I just read an email saying to help her before 11 and its 1045 right now."
Me: "Wow...You're very reliable aren't you?"
6. Stan walked into his door or doorframe (I couldn't see), said ow, and immediately started making hurt dog sounds to himself.
7. Stan has been reading Fortune magazine lately. One every week. Except, I used to read Fortune and I know it's monthly, not weekly. So imagine my surprise when I saw him reading a new one every week. The first one had the address label still attached. All the other ones had them missing. I guess he was trying to look smart by reading the magazines, and didn't want people to know that he just took them from his family.
But, I don't think you'll be very knowledgable or intelligent-looking by reading 4 month old magazines.
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