Stan and Girls

1.  Stan walked into the house, past me, to his room, and was silent for 25 seconds.  As in, he saw me, kept going for 30 feet, and stood still.  He then yelled down the hall "You got mail today!  I left it on your luggage in the hallway!"

I don't understand why he didn't just hand it to me or leave it right in front of me, but whatever.

2.  Stan: "I told our landlady that my friend is coming over tomorrow and staying the night.  'Friend.'"
Me: "....That's nice."
Stan: "Yup."
Me: "Did you ever plan on telling your roommate?" (I told him a week in advance that I was having guests over)
Stan: *Dead silence for a full minute* "Roommate?"
Me: "...."
Stan: "Oh, you.  Yes, well I didn't know until about 20 mins ago."
Me: "....You've been home for like 15."

3.  Me: "So are you two dating?"
Stan: "I dunno.  We hung out three times, and I think we have something."

4.  It has been extremely awkward these past two days as every time he opens his mouth, he mentions something about "needing privacy."  It was interesting seeing our landlady's face as he told her what was going on as she looked quite uncomfortable.

5.  Stan: "Your interview is tomorrow!"
Me: "...Yeah."
Stan: "Ok, I'm sure MY Outlook will tell me.  I love that feature."

We've basically had the same Outlook the entire time.  Why he assumes that I don't know about the calendar alert feature, I have no idea.  Especially since I've told him like five times that I use Outlook on my computer.

6.  Stan: "First thing I did was change the colors of MY Outlook.  Dark blue.  So much better now."
Me: "....*sigh, continues prep work for dinner/cookies*"

7.  Stan: "My boss says I'm the best intern in my department!"
Me: "...."
Stan: "But then I told him I was the only one."

8.  Stan: "Thanksgiving is in two weeks!"
Me: "...."
Stan: "I didn't realize it was so soon, but I just remembered that Nov 1st was a Thursday, so Thanksgiving is coming as quickly as possible."
Me: *thinking* "...It...is always...the 4th Thursday of November...I don't see how this is a big deal."

9.  Stan: "If my friend and I are too loud at night, just knock on the door and let us know."
Me: *shiver*

10.  Stan paced nervously for about 15 minutes while talking about the most random and dumbest crap.    He then brushed his teeth and spent 20 mins shaving.

11.  I got a big package from UPS today.

Stan: "What's in the package?"
Me: "Lens."
Stan: ".........................OH for your camera!"
Me: "..........."
Stan: "I thought you meant a lens for a telescope.  The box is so big!"

We...do not...have a telescope.  Or anything remotely close to a telescope.

12.  Stan: "Hey, can you keep the toilet seat down?"
Me: *thinking* "I haven't used this bathroom yet today besides in the morning.  In fact, he used it about 3 minutes ago."  "I always leave the seat down."
Stan: "Oh.  So I guess it's been me leaving the seat up this whole time."

13.  His guest arrived, and he opened the door.  He promptly left her outside and walked back into the house.  I ended up seeing his guest in.

14.  This turned out to be a real date.  It was supremely awkward when they shut the door to the basement as they like...tackled the door.  I thought there was a rape going on, truthfully.  She seems...like she wants attention.  She's quite plain and kinda chubby, so I don't think she's ever gotten attention like this before.  I don't know if this is the same girl he's been trying to see.

15.  As they were leaving for dinner, I was playing with my new lens.

Stan: "What's the optical zoom on that?"
Me: "....This is an SLR.  Those numbers don't mean anything."
Stan: "...."
Me: "....It is a 70-200mm lens."
Stan: "So, like not even 3x optical zoom?"
Me: ".....Ok, I just told you that those numbers don't mean anything.  It's more than a standard 50 mm lens."
Stan: "Even my camera has 12x optical zoom."
Me: "....*deep sigh*"
Stan: "You take better pictures than me though."
Me: "...*thinking* I certainly hope so."

16.  Stan did some recycling today.  Remember how I've made a big deal about separating everything?



Apparently, Stan lives in a world where plastic bottles and aluminum cans make babies with each other.

17.  To give you a scope as to what it's like to go on a date with Stan.

You go to dinner.
You come back from dinner.
He ditches you in the house for 3 hours, even though you drove 30 mins to get here and will have to drive 30+ mins back for school tomorrow morning.
He sleeps with you.  This part, I don't know.  All I know is that they're in the same bed, and what sounds like stampeding is happening.