Periodicity

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I've had a total of 3 roommates in my life.  One was a kleptomaniac.  The second turned out to be a pothead.  Who didn't share.  And ate my food.  And the third is Stan.  I can honestly say I'd rather have either the klepto or the pothead as a roommate right now.

1.  Stan and his family owned an HP or Gateway desktop tower.  Something went funny with the power supply, and they didn't know what to do.  Apparently, Stan called customer support and asked what could be done.

Stan: "Our computer was having problems with the power supply and because it has special clip things, we can't replace it with a different one from the store.  So I called Customer Support and asked what they could do and they told me that the computer was still under warranty and that they could ship us a new power supply.  So I ordered one and bingo, the computer was fixed and because I was smart we didn't have to worry about voiding our warranty."

Yes.  Hence, why they have proprietary hardware in stock, in case such a situation arises.

2.  I had bought a 9 pack of toilet paper about 4 weeks ago.  Today,

Stan: "We're running low on toilet paper.  Should I go buy some?"
Me: "Really?  How much is left?"
Stan: "4 rolls."
Me: "......*thinking* It took us 4 weeks...with two guests for a few days...to go through 5 rolls...I'm pretty sure that we're not low on toilet paper."
*out loud*
"Yeah, sure go buy some."
Stan: "What kind?"
Me: "....The kind we make that feels like what we have..."
Stan: "We make like 10 different products."
Me: "....Ok...buy *name of product*."

Here's the thing.  Yes, we make a variety of products.  However, we clearly do not use all of them.  There are three categories of product we make on site: toilet paper, paper towel, and diapers.  Ignoring diapers (we make at least 10 SKU's of diapers, so Stan's already wrong), there's toilet paper and paper towel left.  Well, of the paper towel, we have 5 general types that are on site...except 3 of them are experimental and aren't for sale.  So, 2 products.  Now, there are different combinations and factors of those 2 products that can lead to 20 permutations.  Except we're talking about paper towels.  And he wanted to buy toilet paper.  Of that, we have 3 types.  Each type has 3-4 levels.  How are the levels different?  Size.  How are the types different? DRASTICALLY.

3.  I sent him an invite to attend my mid term presentation.  I actually sent it twice; I had a list of 30 people who got the invite, but I realized that I forgot a few and resent the invite out, hoping that Outlook would be smart enough to not send it to people who already got the invite.  I was wrong.  Anyway, Stan got two copies of the invite, which clearly listed date, time, and location.  He even confirmed with me all three of those things.  I was going to have my presentation on Friday.  Imagine my surprise when Stan came up to me today and said this:

Stan: "I thought your presentation was on Monday."

4.  Friday morning, I forgot to throw some old salad out of the fridge.  Today,

Stan: "I noticed that the fridge is starting to smell and some old salad is in there."
Me: "Oh, yeah, I forgot to take care of that on Friday."
Stan: "Mmm, well, can you follow up on the salad soon?"

....Is he...trying to be a manager...or use managerial vocabulary at home?

5.  I know what Stan ate for dinner today.  I know he ate a frozen pizza, drank 2 Pepsi MAX's, used a glass, a plate, and had yogurt.  How do I know these things?  He left a plate with grease on it, a glass, knife, fork, and yogurt cup in the sink when he went out tonight.  He also left a frozen pizza box and two soda bottles on the floor next to the garbage can.

Obviously, he hasn't learned anything at all.  So I asked him when he got home:

Me: "Stan, can you-"
Stan: "The dishes?  Yeah, I'll take care of that now."
Me: "And?"
Stan: "And what?"
Me: "What about the recycling?"
Stan: "*angrily* What about the recycling?"
Me: "*annoyed sigh* .....We talked about this before."
Stan: "...Yeah, I'll do that too.  Sorry, I was doing too much before."

What was he doing before?  He was sitting in his room for 1.5-2 hours.  He told me at work he'd "drop by between 5 and 6, eat a bit, and head out."  He showed up at 5, left at 630-645.

Then, after he said he'd take care of it, I noticed that everything was still sitting around.  I went downstairs to get him off the phone and take care of it.

Me: "Stan, are you slow or are you trying to get me angry?  In any case, do the dishes and stuff."
Stan: "I'm on the phone helping my sister with a math problem."
Me: "You weren't busy before."
Stan: "Well, I just read an email saying to help her before 11 and its 1045 right now."
Me: "Wow...You're very reliable aren't you?"

6.  Stan walked into his door or doorframe (I couldn't see), said ow, and immediately started making hurt dog sounds to himself.

7.  Stan has been reading Fortune magazine lately.  One every week.  Except, I used to read Fortune and I know it's monthly, not weekly.  So imagine my surprise when I saw him reading a new one every week.  The first one had the address label still attached.  All the other ones had them missing.  I guess he was trying to look smart by reading the magazines, and didn't want people to know that he just took them from his family.

But, I don't think you'll be very knowledgable or intelligent-looking by reading 4 month old magazines.