Unbelievably Huge Update

Here's the deal.

Most of the time, I post whenever I hit eight or so bullet points and it can take me anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour to write everything down here.  Usually, eight bullet points takes a few days.  Yesterday, Stan hit a whopping 54 bullet points in one day.  On top of that, I never posted the notes from before!

So...without further ado:

1.  Stan asked me if I had taken his nasal spray.  I'm going to spell it out for you: why would I take HIS nasal spray?  We all know where nasal sprays go, so why would I want to borrow someone else's let alone his?

2.  Stan asked me one day if he could drink some of my milk.  I didn't see a problem with it as I never finish my milk usually (I just don't drink enough of it).

Me: "Yeah go ahead."
Stan: "Thanks.  I thought I had a whole gallon in there, but I just realized that I brought it home with me over the weekend since it was expired."

3.  Stan and I had a dinner with a representative not from work.  This representative was unfamiliar with our area and wanted us to pick a place to eat.  Actually, he wanted us to work together to pick a place to eat.  I was extremely busy, and have been extremely busy both in and out of work lately, so I didn't go ask Stan about dinner.  Imagine my surprise when Stan sent out an email ordering us to eat at Applebee's.  Now...he had claimed to be familiar with the area before, and I can say without any hesitation that Applebee's...was not the best place to eat, even with a budget of $15 each.  He clearly just picked a place at random and told us to go.

Now, I sent an email out to him and the representative saying that Applebee's was not a good choice for the money we were going to spend and suggested a place like Chili's, at least.  Stan did not get back to me, even though he "prides himself on responding to email instantly."  So, I asked him about it at lunch the next day.  He was sitting with his coworkers, while I had just finished a 15 minute lunch as they were sitting.

Me: "Stan, did you get my email about dinner?"
Stan: *air of arrogance* "I got like 6 emails last night."
*silence*
Me: *Nevermind that I've been getting 20 emails a night for various reasons (not all Facebook)* "...Ok, well did you read it?"
Stan: "Oh... Yeah.  Chili's sounds fine by me."
Me: "....*wonders why that was so hard to say* Ok, well, I have to go prepare for a meeting, so I'll see you later."

4.  Stan had given us the address of the Applebee's he wanted to go to so badly.  He then said, and this is a DIRECT copy paste from the email:

"My cell is ---.---.---- if anyone needs to last-minute cancel/gets lost getting to the restaurant. I would recommend not using the direction finder on Applebee's website; it completely overcomplicated my directions.
Google maps works a lot better."

Soooo...now he's taking credit...for Google Maps giving him directions?

On top of that, he didn't actually give directions.

5.  I had bought a 6 pack of light bulbs to replace 2 that had burned out.  It was not a huge concern for either of us to put bulbs in, so I let the bulbs sit on the counter.  I even asked him if he cared about having lighting, and he didn't.  So the bulbs sat for 2 days.  Then, one day Stan made a lot of noise in the hallway and everything got brighter when he hit a switch.  Wow.  He put my bulbs in.

Stan: "We now have light."

Now....why he wanted to paraphrase God, I can understand; he has a complex, I wager.  However, the "light" had been there for a while.  Obviously, and again, taking credit for someone else's work.

6.  My room is quite small and there isn't enough room to put my copier inside.  As such, I put the copier on the hallway sink counter as it had the biggest counter space with a working power outlet.  It was clear and away from water, and would always be, especially if no one used the sink.  After three days of leaving the copier there and hearing no complaints, Stan walked into the hallway and stood in complete silence for 45 seconds.

Stan: "Is this copier always going to be here?"
Me: "Is it a problem?"
Stan: "I want to use this sink."
Me: "....The actual bathroom is about 10 feet from that sink."
Stan: "I know.  I like using this sink to brush my teeth."
Me: "....You are very lazy."

Course I moved the copier about 10 mins later because I didn't want to risk him getting water onto it.

7.  Trooper had a birthday recently.  Stan asked how old trooper was.  Now, this is always a relative question, so I answered "our age"

Stan: "So they're 21?"
Me: "...No, we're not even 21, they're 20 now."
Stan: "So they're younger then."  *walks into room with arrogance*

8.  I walked out the other day and saw him eating a salad and reading a Fortune magazine.  I have a feeling someone told him to read the Fortune as he never did before.  I'm also guessing that he was trying to look smarter.  Kinda failed.

9.  I recently attended a dinner in a major city far away from where Stan and I live.  Stan did not go, so it was a fairly pleasant drive over.  When I got there, I met new people.  We didn't even know we had mutual friends until another guest walked in to the restaurant.

Her: "OH MAN, so I've been reading the blog!"
New person 1: "THE STAN BLOG?!?"

10.  New person 1: "Oh yeah, I had class with Stan.  I loved everything about that class except for him.

11.  New person 3: "Has he played any music for you yet?"
New person 2: "Yeah, he kept saying he was a 'Violin Master'."
Me: "....My friends were in orchestra with him.  He sat in the last chair of the 2nd Violins.  Which means he was the worst violinist in the orchestra.  He didn't even make that seat the next year."

12.  Stan was explaining why he was gone one day.  Apparently, he just stayed over at a coworker's place because it was so late in the night.

"Good thing I always have a change of clothes in my car for just such an occasion."

13.  Stan came out of the bathroom the other day and felt need to tell me the following:

"The bathroom is all yours."

Now, I didn't even need to use it.  I was literally just sitting in my room at my desk.

14.  Stan's explanation as to why he came back home at like 9 pm was because "someone screwed up at work."  I really wonder who.

Ok, this is the day with 54 notes.  I don't even remember everything because I wrote it all in short fragments.  In his car.  While he was driving.  And while I was in shotgun.  Or during dinner.

15.  Stan and I had a separate dinner with a representative from our mutual organization.  Despite the fact that Stan dictated that dinner was at 7:00 pm a few days prior to this dinner and the fact that all he really does is read emails all day (meaning he would've been able to see about 6 confirmation emails), he had forgotten what time dinner was.  By 5:00 pm.

16.  We have two bottles of dish detergent at our sink.  One is a very dark blue one, so dark that you cannot really see how much detergent is left in the bottle unless you look hard.  The other is a clear bottle with bright green colored detergent.  I remembered how low the green one had gone (maybe 2 cm from the bottom) and asked Stan if he could pick up another bottle of detergent.  Stan asked if we had run out.  He then claimed he hadn't noticed because he only used the dark blue one.  The one that always sits next to the bright green one.

17.  We decided to carpool to this dinner.  Last time we carpooled, we took my car, even though I didn't really have to go, and I had to fill up on gas the next time I went out.  Which of course didn't faze Stan.  He also didn't think about thanking me for driving either.  So, when we were going to leave for dinner, Stan obviously asked who was going to drive.

18.  While Stan was driving, he asked if I had seen any schoolbuses around on the roads.

Me: "Yeah."
Stan: "Aren't they terrible to follow?"
Me: "....They're schoolbuses...what did you expect?"
Stan: "No, maybe you don't understand.  These schoolbuses were awful.  They kept stopping every like 100 feet in the midafternoon and on my way to work!"
Me: "...As in...when school starts....and when school ends?"
Stan: "Yeah."

Conversation ended there for a moment.

19.  Somehow we ended up talking about Binghampton.

Stan: "Binghampton is so in the boonies."  Followed by his own laughter.  And that was it.  I'm really not sure how someone who's living in an area with only a WalMart can judge, but hey.

20.  Stan totally ate like a full plate of food 2 hours before our dinner.  Was it for etiquette?  I hope not, since we knew the dinner was casual...and at Chili's.

21.  We'd been working here for 9 weeks by the time this event happened.  Stan had taken a tour of my department.  Very quick and simple tour.  He went on and on about how bad the dust was in one area of the machine.  I didn't tell him but I'd been there several times.  I did tell him that he went on a light day and that it wasn't too bad.  He insisted that it was terrible and began trying to tell me how machines in my department worked.  Unlike him, however, I did not spend 6 weeks checking email and getting lost, so I did already know how my machines worked.

22.  Our power flickered.  All the lights dimmed and some fans slowed down.  Stan asked me if my lights dimmed.

23.  I was playing video games to wait for him to leave.  I ended up playing for 3 minutes too long and he commanded me to get up and get in the car.

24.  As I got into the front seat of his car, Stan had this nugget of information for me:

Stan: "If you want to adjust the seatback, the lever is on the right."

THANKS STAN WHAT WOULD I EVER DO WITHOUT YOU.

25.  I had gotten a new phone a whole week before this dinner.  Stan knew I had gotten it because he was going to help me by waiting for the package.  Then I got home and told him he could go as I waited for my phone.

Flash forward a week:

Stan: "Hey, nice new phone."

26.  Our first week at work, we were told that we would be given Outlook 300.  It's a fancy name for Webmail based Outlook.  We were also told to not use Outlook 500, or the actual program, because they didn't have enough licenses and such.

Four weeks in, Stan complained about how his Outlook wasn't working.  Of course, I asked what was wrong.  He then said that he had been using the program the entire time and was going to have it fixed.

Now, the ninth week at work, Stan told me in the car that his Outlook was still having issues.  And that he was told not to use the program.  He wondered why the IT people waited so long to tell him not to use the program and just stick to Webmail.  I told him that we were explicitly told to use Webmail.  He said he must not have been there.  I told him we were told during training.  He sat and looked dumb.

27.  Stan's sister was having a senior recital.  She invited him and really wanted him to come home to see it.

Stan: *in a very non-caring tone* "Yeah...so...sister's recital...whatever, I guess I'll go."

28.  I vented a little about how one of my projects went bad.  We lost items that we were supposed to track.  Stan offered to help me find them.  Even though he didn't know what they looked like.  And I told many more important people to keep an eye out.  Including in his own department.  He still insisted that he could help.

29.  Stan's department had ordered too much glue to use in the machines.  They had a big meeting to come up with ways to get rid of the glue.  As in hundreds, maybe tons of the stuff.  Of glue.  Sticky, will screw lots of stuff up, glue.  Stan suggested that they dump it in the river.  He then told me that he woke everyone up out of boredom during the meeting.  I personally doubt they were bored, just shocked at his idiocy.

30.  Stan bragged about how his car only needs planned maintenance every couple thousand miles.  Just like any other car, really.

31.  Me: "Yeah, I have to get my maintenance.  And my oil changed.  I'll just have them done at the same time."
Stan: "You haven't gotten your oil changed?  What's wrong with you?"
Me: "...I just said...I'm going to...with my maintenance...and also...I'm entirely too busy to do it."

32.  So the first night we were in the apartment, Stan told me that he basically took his mom's car to drive here.  This day, he changed his story and claimed that his mom gave him the car.

33.  Stan said he's too busy at home as his cell phone constantly rings.  He implied a tone of great importance, but we all know that it's his family or people returning calls.  Specifically after he tells them to call him back later.

34.  We were following a car that was slowing down.  Now, when cars slow down, it's either quick or slow.  Quick means braking.  Slow means naturally drifting to a stop.  This car we were following was VERY slow as it was slowing down.

Stan: "That car has its center brake light out."
Me: "....Uh...it could just be not using the brake.  It is slowing down very slowly."
Stan: "....True."

35.  Stan talked about how there were 50,000 miles on his car and bragged about how much of those miles he had driven.  He claimed half.  He argued that this made him an experienced driver who knew what he was doing, unlike most people.  I didn't feel like bringing it up, but my car has 76,000 miles on it, and I've driven it across the country twice.  One of those trips had mountains, snow, rain, sleet, massive traffic, trucks, sun, clouds, fog, and nighttime driving on the highway and in the city in a span of 12 hours.  On top of that, I've driven the car in so many different states that I can sorta identify driver origins based off their driving behavior.  And I can honestly say I've never driven on the wrong side of a narrow downhill road before.  Which he did.  And almost made me crash into him.

36.  My notes say "car brag" but I don't remember what happened.  I think it had to do with windshield wipers.

37.  Stan said that he would like long drives so he wouldn't unleash his stress on his wife and kids.  Even ignoring the fact that he "wasn't worried about that yet," I'm a little afraid for anyone unlucky enough to be in that situation.  Personally, I doubt I would destress on other people.

38.  He asked what the car situation was like in my family.  I told him hard because we had 5 cars and 4 drivers and we can't juggle insurance and parking around to make it work, usually.

Stan: "I totally understand, the car situation is hard in my family too."
Me: "How so?"
Stan: "We have 4 cars and 4 drivers."

....HOW ABOUT ONE CAR PER DRIVER FUCKTARD?!  DONE AND DONE

Granted, what should I expect from a person who struggled for a long time at coming up with ways to move Mr. Toad.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, read older posts.

39.  Stan: "Yeah, my car is fully loaded.  Power windows, locks, AC, ABS."
Me: "....Yeah....most of those...like especially ABS... were made standard on cars larger than compact 10 years ago. [we're in 2007]."
Stan: "My minivan didn't have it!"
Me: "What year was your minivan (I knew that minivans usually HAD ABS because soccer moms love safety)?"
Stan: "A '94."

40.  Notes say "Car Brag 2."  I think it had to do with the other standard features in his car and how it came "fully loaded."

41.  Stan tried to argue with me about cars.  Like...model features, renovations, etc.  He wouldn't take the fact that he was wrong lightly.  Actually, he didn't accept that fact at all.  For example, he claimed that the Toyota Camry was all new for 2007.  He was off by a year.  

42.  It had been raining for most of the drive down to dinner.  Notice that this all happened BEFORE we got to the dinner.  So within 30 minutes.  Anyway, when we got to the city where we were going to eat, the rain had stopped.  However, the shoulder was very clearly wet.  It was significantly darker than the road we were driving on.  Still, Stan boldly pronounced that it had obviously not rained in this city.

43.  When we got to Chili's, our dinner host had not arrived.

Stan: "Do you know him?"
Me: "...Yes...I ate dinner with him last night."
Stan: "Oh that's right.  Do you have his cell phone number?"
Me: "No, I don't."
Stan: "Ok, well I do."

Creepy.  Especially since Stan had never met him before.

44.  Stan couldn't find the way into Chili's.  I told him turn by turn directions as I had driven by it before.  Unsurprisingly, after he made the final turn and saw the sign, he claimed that it was "very easy to find."

45.  The entire Chili's was decked out in Halloween decorations.  This took me -15 seconds to notice, because I could see everything when I was walking into the restaurant.  It took Stan 5 minutes.  He then had to tell me that the Chili's was covered in Halloween decorations.

46.  Stan: "Did your high school have mol day?"
Me: "...So...Oct 23, at 602 AM?"
Stan: "Yeah."
Me: "No.  We were entirely too busy."
Stan: "Oh, my mol day was great blahblahblah..."
Three minutes later
Stan: "So that's what I did.  I liked mol day a lot."
Me: "...To be honest, it sounds kinda stupid."
Stan: "Yeah, I didn't really enjoy it that much."

47.  Our host was clearly lost.  I told Stan to call him at 7:00 when he didn't show up.  The host said "I'll be right there."  Stan came back to tell me this via thumbs up since I was on the phone.  After 10 minutes, I knew he was lost, but I was still on the phone.  Stan sat around looking confused and like he was looking for friends in all the decorations when he caught my eye and I glanced at my watch and motioned my phone.  He finally realized that maybe he should call the host and help him with directions.  The directions were clearly terrible as it took our host another 20 minutes to get to Chili's.

48.  Maitre d: *looking at our host, who is much older than us* "How many?"
Host: "Thr-"
Stan: "Three."
Maitre d: *taken aback* "...Smoking or non?"
Host: "No-"
Stan: "Non-smoking."

49.  Our host told us how bad his day was, including a wolfed-down breakfast.  Stan said that his 1o minute lunch that day was just as bad.  Including just as bad as the three 10 minute lunches I had for 3 days straight.

50.  I bought a gallon jug of Sweet Tea from the grocery store.  Stan knew I had gone to the grocery store, but was scared when he opened the fridge and saw the tea.

Stan: "That's your's right?"
Me: "Yes."
Stan: "Oh ok, cuz all of a sudden a gallon of tea just appeared!"

51.  We were all having trouble deciding what to order since there were so many choices on the menu.  Stan then claimed that it was just as hard as having to choose where to work.  A reminder (and another story related to this will appear down the list): When offers came around, he got zero.  Zero job offers.  And he was like that for a week.  He begged our recruiter since he saw that someone declined a spot and managed to get the job.

52.  Our company culture says "do not talk about pay."  Really, that seems to be all that Stan can talk about at times.  A reminder: we're still at dinner.

53.  Stan: "I like my job because it allows me to do what I'm good at.  Working with the machines."

I doubt it.

54.  Our host went on to describe his day.

Host: "Yeah, I'd say it was a weird day toda-"
Stan: "I have a weird day everyday."

55.  Stan: "I want to go to Italy because our machines have an Italian name, so I'd know what I'm doing there."

56.  During the first week at work, Stan asked me why they had hired people from our major for these jobs as they didn't really have anything to do with what we were working on.  I told him that I asked the same question during my interview and the interviewers liked my frankness and answered that we were being looked at because of our analytical thinking.  I had told this to Stan.

At this dinner, our host had locked eye contact with me:

Host: "Are you bothered by the fact that you're not necessarily applying what you've learned?  Why did they have you fill this role?"
Me: "Well, it's bec-"
Stan: "They wanted us for our analytical thinking, I found out."

57.  Stan claimed that there was plenty of mechanical engineering in chemical engineering.  And that there were a lot of similarities.

58.  We had all ordered house special drinks.  Our host had a tea with mango syrup in it.  However, the syrup and the liquid were both yellow, so I don't blame him when he didn't notice that he was supposed to stir his drink.  Stan had a clear drink with a dark syrup.  The waitress had told him to mix the drink.  He didn't notice.  So he said that the drink was too strong.  Then I told him to stir it.  It was good afterwards.

59.  I had complained several times in the beginning that the young managers kept inviting me to do stuff.  And by do stuff, I mean go to bars.  Big no no.  When our host asked us what we did, Stan turned my story into his.

60.  We were leaving from dinner, and Stan ended up in a left turn only lane.  He JUMPED out of the lane into the normal lane.

Stan: "Did you see that?  Those are my reflexes.  I inherited them from my mom.  She has really quick reflexes too."

That makes me wonder if it was his reflexes that let him run the stop sign that came 15 feet later.

61.  Stan and I entered the car at the same time.  I had noticed that there was condensation on the inside of the windshield.  Stan immediately turned the defrost/defog setting in his car to max.

Stan: "The car fogged up as soon as I got in!"

I know.  I was there.  Believe me, I noticed.  As hard as it was to notice a large, clear object be unclear 2 feet from my face, I somehow noticed.

62.  Stan asked if I was considering Lasik.  I said no because there were still a few dangers.  You can search on the Internet and find the dangers.  Stan insisted that there were none.  I had somehow ended up looking at Lasik stories that day during my break, so I think I knew what I was talking about.

63.  My notes say fishing.  I think he asked me if I'd ever gone fishing before.  Which I would say yes to.  I'm guessing he then tried to teach me what fishing was.

64.  Stan was complaining that he doesn't get a lot of work done because so many people try to talk to him.  And that he never gets lost at work.

65.  My notes say "Car Brag 3" OH I REMEMBER THIS ONE.

We were at a red light.  I told him that he needed to take a left at the next light, and that he should've gotten in the left lane before.  Since now he had to pass a car that was even with us.

Stan: "No problem, me and my VTEC will get us out of this."

When the light turned green, he floored the pedal.  Lots of revving ensued for 5 seconds.  We hit 27, then he had to slow down for the red light.  He did managed to take that left turn, but after we were on the on ramp, he floored the pedal again.  Lots of revving for 6 seconds.  We were going 30.  Sounds like quite the "4 cylinder monster" he makes it out to be.

66.  Stan: "I will definitely come back here when they offer me a full time position.  Unless some other place offers something better."

Great loyalty eh?  Also, he's placing a lot of bets on his performance...story to come...

67.  Stan named his machine and himself with his own names.  He then proceeded to tell everyone what his ideas for names were.  He then wondered why everyone was using his language.

68.  The street signs near our apartment are white obelisks with black letters.  Probably because green signs would blend in with the bunches of trees lining the roads here.  Stan said he liked the signs but couldn't figure out why they were like that.  When I suggested my idea, he shot it down.  And he'll probably explain to other people why the signs here are like that and pass it off as his own thinking.

69.  Back to the job offers.  He had told everyone in the spring that he hadn't gotten any offers and was stuck like that for a week.  He then told me later that he had gotten an offer from my company because he found out that someone gave up a spot and then begged the recruiter through email for the position that was turned down.

When I asked him in the car on the ride home about job offers, his story changed.  He now claimed that after he realized he had no offers, he talked to our job finders and emailed a few places that had empty spots.  Stan said that he got an email back the next morning from my recruiter, offering him a job.  

I have long suspected that Stan only got this job because 1. they probably needed more help and 2. they didn't want me to be alone.  I reasoned the latter because we're in the middle of nowhere and they must've thought I'd be lonely and that one person from the same organization as me is better than none.

Monday, I spoke with our recruiter about the recruiting process.

Recruiter: "We decided 2 years ago that we would never, ever hire only one person.  We had hired one girl all by herself 3 years ago, and she ended up being extremely lonely because she lived all by herself and couldn't really hang out with the drinking crowd.  So now, it is always at least two people."

Doesn't it all make sense now?

70.  A warning, 70 to 74 all happened in 5 minutes in one morning.  I was trying to make sense of the mess Stan left near the garbage.  Stan had just left recycling all over the floor.  Even though, ever since we'd been in the apartment, I had been very obviously and clearly hanging plastic bags from the cabinets and placing recyclables in different bags.  The bags are at eye level and very easy to identify.  Stan followed along with this for a while, then he just forgot.  I told him to go pick up all his recycling.

71.  Stan tried to shove his recycling in very full bags.  I wanted to test his logic, and he obviously failed.  We have more than enough empty plastic bags he could've used.  And he knew exactly where they were.

Me: *watching him struggle* "...Is it that hard to use another bag?"
Stan: "..........I could."

72.  We took Organic Chemistry class together.  So we learned at the same time that plastic and styrofoam are derived from the same type of material: polymers from petroleum.  To be honest, I learned this in high school, so this was not news to me.  PS:  Fleece is recycled styrofoam.  Anyway, plastic and styrofoam are pretty much the exact same material, just adjusted for different uses.  

Stan: *holding an egg carton, looking perplexed* "What do I do with this?"
Me: "Why don't you put it with the other plastics?"
Stan: "They're not the same!"
Me: *dead eye*
Stan: "Well, where I'm from they're not the same.  We treat them differently."
Me: "...No...we both know that they're the same.  Put them together." 

73.  Lastly, he left dead lightbulbs on the floor.  Hiding near a trash bin.  On tile.  To me, that spells danger.  One misstep or dropping some heavy garbage and broken glass would be everywhere.

Stan: "What do I do with the lightbulbs?  Can't recycle them."
Me: *HEAVY SARCASM* "Yeah, just put them back on the floor there.  In a hard to see and dangerous spot."
Stan: *places lightbulbs down*
Me: "..........................I was so sarcastic it's not even funny.  Can you move the lightbulbs someplace else?  I don't like the idea of sharp lightbulbs on the ground."
Stan: "Uhh, they're not sharp.  See?  They're lightbulbs?"
Me: "And what are lightbulbs made of?"
Stan: "Yeah but it's not broken, and there's no danger of breaking them here."
Me: "...Hard to see, on tile, yes, no, no danger at all.  Besides a misstep or dropping anything."
Stan: "What do you want me to do with them then?"
Me: "....Why don't we just put them in a bag in the empty cabinet?  That doesn't sound so hard."

74.  After all that, Stan left the kitchen.  There's a table that we eat (separately) on.  It had been a terrible mess for a long time because whenever he went to the grocery store or WalMart, he would just leave the plastic bags on the table and not take care of them.  Even after I showed him my system of leaving them in a cabinet.  As Stan left:

Stan: *looking upset* "THIS TABLE IS A MESS!!!!"
Me: "Yeah....those...are your plastic bags.  Look, the only things on that table that are mine are these.  You've been leaving your crap there the entire time."
Stan: ".....Well, some of these bags are tied up!  I didn't do that!"
Me: "No, but you made our guests from before think that they could do that.  Clean it up."
Stan: *silently moves bags away....by throwing them decently hard into cabinet*

NEW STUFF

75.  We have to give midterm and final presentations.  Stan gave his a few days ago.  Well, let's back up.  The 2nd day of training, we had to attend a "how to give presentations" training session.  I thought it was a waste of time since I had given a few and am a barely passable public speaker.  Stan looked like he had the same attitude.  Yet, during his midterm presentation, he threw every suggestion out the window.  He read off his slides, fidgeted the entire time, and didn't involve his audience.

76.  We were encouraged to bring snacks to presentations.  I was going to do this, but I was going to make it a surprise.  Stan did not bring snacks at all.

Recruiter: "You know, your predecessor brought cookies to their midterm presentation."
Stan: *very snappy* "Do I look like my predecessor to you?"

77.  During his presentation, I thought the remote for the slides was broken.  It clicked very loudly everytime he pressed the button.  I had assumed it was broken because I have a few items that still sorta work, but do click loudly when used.  But I was weirded out when all of a sudden the slide advanced and Stan said "Sorry, trigger happy with the clicker."  I then watched how he was using the remote.  He was hitting it with is finger.  Like, slamming his index finger into the clicking area as best as he could with limited swing.

78.  Stan put into his presentation a quote from his boss's boss.

"I get a better return of investment from my pet rock than I do with Stan."

79.  One of Stan's projects was to have part of a floor painted white.  It took him weeks to call a contractor to get it done.  He talked about this during his presentation.  He claimed that the white floor would allow everyone to see oil drips better.  This is true.  However, it is a bit of a stretch to say that seeing oil allows the machine to stay running longer.  Stan did this.  He tried to tie in the business needs of the company into his presentation and his projects wherever he could.

80.  Stan once again went to his lady-friend's place 30 mins from here.

Stan: "I don't plan on staying but it could happen."
Me: "Ok."
Stan: "If I end up being there at midnight, I'll stay over there."
Me: "Ok."
Stan: *while leaving* "Ok, I'm off.  See you sometime.  Don't know when sometime is though."

Wouldn't that be why you say "sometime" instead of, oh I don't know, a CERTAIN time?

81.  So Stan came back at 12:45 am.  Which leads me to believe that he tried to stay at her place, since he said if was there at midnight, he would stay over there, but failed.

WHEW that was a long post.  That's pretty much everything that you've missed.  Enjoy.  I'm keenly aware that this post is not up to the normal level of fluid speech and all the other elements of good storytelling that I usually strive for.  However, this post took me over 3 hours to type, and I'm guessing that it would've taken me 5 had I actually tried to make it nicer.  My apologies.