The Train Keeps Rolling

Addressing the comments of the last post: if I have to work with him, I will address the professor and TA's and flat out offer a "new group or no group" policy.  Granted, I have a lot more experience living and working with Stan.  I'm also going to speak with our HR person and ask that we not live together later.  As amusing as this is, I don't think I can handle another living situation with him.

1.  Our company gives each employee an annual gift basket containing some products made by the company.  First, we get a notification letter in the mail saying that the package will be arriving at the address this letter was mailed to unless it is changed.  I took my and his letters from the mailbox and placed his on his doorknob.  Common sense...would say that if the letters are mailed at the same time to the SAME PLACE, they would arrive on the same day.  I've pretty much already given away the blockbuster plot twist, but here it is.

Stan: "Hey my gift package letter!"
Me: "Yup, I put it there today."
Stan: "Did you get yours too?"

2.  It's also no surprise that my mom works for the same company but in a different location.  The company she was originally working for was bought by this one almost three years ago.  Stan asked me what was in the gifts and if my mother had received a gift before.  Yes, Stan, she has received two.  This is after I specifically told him that one of the cool perks of working here was the annual gift.

3.  Stan bragged to his friend on the phone last night that he has spent 24 hours in the office and would have spent 35 if he had worked his normal 10 hours today.  First off....look at the math.  Second, my boss and her boss have a term for spending that much time in the office: "poor time management."  They specifically told me that if I was spending that much time in the office I was either overworked or not working hard enough at all.

I'm honestly perplexed how he can spend that much time at work.  In my entire division (not my department, but the department containing my department and others like it), 80% of the leadership leaves at 4:30 (or try to).  Generally, they're busy past 3:00.

4. Stan again realized why his balance is so high.

5.  We have a pretty crappy dryer here in the apartment.  A regular load in the washer for me takes two hours to dry.  The dryer is older than I am.  Stan knows this as we had a conversation that went like this:

Stan: "My clothes take forever to dry."
Me: "Yeah, the dryer sucks."
Stan: "Yeah."

So...can anyone tell me why, when I added another 30 minutes to a load after 70 minutes, I got this from Stan:

Stan: "The dryer is taking FOREVER."
Me: "I know, we know it su-"
Stan: "Are you sure you didn't leave it on 'air fluff'?"

Air fluff has a maximum time limit of 30 minutes.  So it occupies half as much arc as regular dry, which I was using.  He also based my drying time off his normal wash load...which uses about half the capacity of the washer.  He claims that he's not sure how much he can load into a front load washer and still have it wash.

Anyway, after he asked me that question, I took a deep sigh, put my hands on my hips, and told him that I was not retarded and could read the clear labels.

6.  Earlier in the day, I had eaten lunch with him.  His coworker was there and asked us why we went on these job assignments.  We gave him all the reasons:

Coworker: "Plus, it looks good on your resume!"
Stan: "Yeah, everyone's heard of [product], so I can say that I worked in [product]."
Me: "....I'm pretty sure that you can just say 'I worked for [company].'  Everyone knows us."
Stan: "Exactly, 'I worked in [product]."

7.  I woke up late this morning.  Just in time to see Stan come back from the shower in a towel.  Apparently, though, all he did was go turn the shower on and leave for 10 minutes.

8.  He left his room after 10 minutes and was still only wearing a towel.

9.  Stan had left a yogurt cup full of water sitting in the sink for two days.  I didn't know what he wanted to do with it so I asked him this morning what was going on with it.  He poured it out right away.  What...exactly...takes two days...to pour out a damn yogurt cup.

10.  I was out for most of the night because I went to a mall to shop/walk around.  While I was gone, we had gotten an email from a mutual organization.  When I got back home, Stan knew I was out.  Yet...after we had established where I had been for the past 4 hours, Stan asked if I had read the email from the organization.

11.  Stan doesn't realize that when the drying rack is full, he can go ahead and move dry stuff into the cabinets.  So, he rinsed a glass, but let it sit right side up on a table...for two days...defeating the purpose of washing it because it would catch dust and would become a miniature breeding ground for anything in the water.  When I told him that he needed to wash it again and that I put it in a colander that he had to wash, he looked confused.  Then it dawned on him what I was talking about.  I thought I was being pretty crystal clear, but he thought I was talking about a glass colander.

**Edit**
12.  Stan sits crosslegged...even when laying down on his back.  I had a pleasant sight when I went to ask him a question.

13.  Stan tried to convince me about how bad rush hour traffic was and when it started in the area around the mall I went to today.  I've been there three times all around when he said the rush hour started, and I've never seen a problem.  This is at the mall, which probably has the worst traffic due to the high attraction to the area (lots of shopping and restaurants).  When I told him this, he mentioned construction...which I didn't see...and then he said that because he grew up "around here," with his hometown being 2 hours away from the mall, he knew about everything related to the rush hour.

**2nd Edit**

14.  I just plain forgot this one.  At the same lunch as the "I work in [product]" post, the following also happened:

Stan: "I might stay a year at school and get my Master's in a semester."
Coworker: *impressed* "Master's in a semester?"
Me: "You mean a Master's of Engineering?"
Stan: "Yes."
Me: "Those are different things....Master's are much harder and take a few years...not just one."
Stan: "Right, so I'm going to be staying to get my Master's in a semester.  I've got 100 credits already anyway."

I don't think he knows that liberal studies don't really count as credit towards a M.Eng.