Couple Days

1.  Stan left a butter tub in the sink with water sitting in it for days.  I would've confronted him earlier but he didn't come back home.  When he did, I spoke to him.

Me: "Stan, why is this plastic tub sitting in the sink?"
Stan: "It's a butter tub.  I was soaking it to get rid of the butter."

Ok.  First off, 3 seconds with a soapy sponge, which we have, would've gotten rid of it immediately. Second off, I know he failed orgo, but, butter is for all intents and purposes, a fat.  A lipid.  An organic substance.  As in, not water soluble.  Hence, why butterbells (which are amazing) work.  A butterbell has two pieces, a cup and a bell shape.  The bell shape is filled with butter and the cup with water.  The bell part goes into the cup and keeps the butter at water temperature to keep it spreadable and reduces the speed of going bad.  But, the butter doesn't dissolve in the water.  So, Stan left oily water in a plastic tub for two days.

2.  Stan shaved one day and didn't rinse the sink.  Which made brushing my teeth an endeavor.  When I saw him at lunch, I told him that he needs to wash the sink after he shaves.  He claimed he did.  I pointed out that he didn't.  He sounded defensive again, but said he'd try to remember next time.

3.  Stan left at 4 in the morning one day.  I know because he had the common courtesy to slam his bedroom door, which is right outside of mine.  In addition, he was completely unable to leave the shower door open, as I reqested and he acknowledged.

4.  Later that day, I told Stan that he needed to leave the shower door open.  He said he did.  I said he didn't.  He then asked which door I was talking about.  I said again, shower door.  Glass door.  Stan thought I was talking about the wood bathroom door.  Silly Stan.

5.  Someone goofed at work.  New hires are given a gift pack a few weeks after they start, but for some reason, only a few people got them this year.  And those few, of whom Stan was one, got like 10 of them, but in a staggered way.  He had gotten 4 and given them to his family (I think, the boxes disappeared).  Then all of a sudden he got 6 more.  All the boxes are the same.  I joked that if he didn't want one, I could take one.  He said he'd think about it.  The next day at work he told me that he was going to graciously give me one of his boxes.  The opened one.  I didn't understand why he opened the box, seeing as how he might have to return it anyway, so I asked.  

Stan: "I was wondering if they were all the same."
Me: "Probably."

So, I started going through the box since he insisted that I keep it.

Me: "Oh hey, this is nice, I think I use this anyway."
Stan: "What?  Wait, I didn't see this before."

Stan then proceeded to dump out the entire contents of the box into the hallway and rummaged through.  And he refused to put things back in the way they came, so the box didn't shut anymore and I had to repack it.

Me: "THANKS.  Stan."
Stan: "Yeah sorry.  Apparently, some things in the package are different."
Me: "...But...you already went through the box before."
Stan: "Yeah."

6.  Our table has an ion filtering fan on it to get rid of smells.  Which, come to think of it, since Stan turned it off, our kitchen has smelled like garlic.  Lemme go fix that.  Never mind, it's on low, but now the buttons are stuck.

Anyway, he moved it off so he could sit and eat.  I told him that he could take the normal chair as I was going to eat in my room and do some work/chores.  Stan told me to "eat wherever I want," as if he was giving me orders and owned the house.

7.  When my friends came over to visit, they had prepared a salad.  To make said salad, they used a clear plastic bowl that I had never seen before they arrived.  Stan was making dinner one day:

Stan: "Have you seen that clear plastic bowl?"
Me: "No."
Stan: "I found out it's a good salad bowl."
Me: "I thought that belonged to my friends.  Thought they bought it, since I had never seen it before they came over."
Stan: "Yeah, that's when I discovered it."

I think by "discover," he means saw it being used.  So that he could take credit for it.

8.  Stan was talking about something he was doing.  Something about a long day later this week.  I thought he was trying to make conversation, and I wanted to seem nice while I was putting on my jacket to leave.

Me: "Yeah, just to let you know, I'm going into work at 6 in two days."
Stan: "Ouch..........Not as bad as 4."

I shoulda realized he just wanted a competition.

9.  Stan on the phone with his friend: "Is ritalin an antidepressant? .......That's a pretty old prescription."

No WONDER why his friends think he's so smart!

10.  Me: "Stan, you gotta keep the shower door open."
Stan: "I did."
Me: "I just used the bathroom, and the shower door was shut and you were the last person to use it."
Stan: "Well, I definitely left it open."
Me: "Right.  Just like how you're doing the recycling?"
*Motion to egg carton on floor.  That's been there for 3 days.*
Stan: "I don't see YOU doing your recycling!"
Me: "...You mean that pizza box that's too dirty to be recycled?"
Stan: "...*places egg carton in bag for plastic recycling*"
Me: "..."
Stan: *places cardboard tube into plastic recycling*
Me: "Yeah, no, try that again."
Stan: *opens cabinet and rearranges plastics*
Me: "No, I meant the cardboard in the plastics."
Stan: "*attitude* That's why I opened the cabinet? To get another plastic bag?"
Me: "Yup, that's also why you put the cardboard tube into the plastics?"
Stan: "......*gets new plastic bag*"