Sick Delay

Sorry all, I got really sick and couldn't update for a while. Strep throat is nasty business...made better through Motrin, raw garlic pieces, and Robitussin.

Anyway, long post again, so here we go.

1. Stan had gotten into a car accident. To quote him, he was "t-boned." In any case, he had called me and told me that his car was damaged and to watch out for the damaged CR-V and a rental car sitting in the parking lot. He told me two days after the fact. As in, he called me Sunday to tell me he got into a car accident on Friday. Anyway, when I got back, I looked over his car briefly and talked to him about it.

Stan: "Yeah, the side, two wheels, part of the front. It's really pretty bad. The other car just went right into my side."
Me: "How fast were you going?"
Stan: "45."
Me: "How fast was the other car going?"
Stan: "15 mph."
Me: "..."
Stan: "He was accelerating, though!"

By looking at the damage, it didn't really look like a "t-bone," it looked more like the other car scraped like <5 inches in for half the length of the car.

Me: "You know it really doesn't look THAT bad. Doesn't look like there'll be any frame damage, just cosmetic stuff."
Stan: "Yeah, but the frame is probably gone."
Me: "..."

2. Oh sorry, I probably shoulda backed up to when I actually got home. Or before that. See during the call on Sunday he had told me that he had gotten whiplash. When I arrived home, I had both arms full and couldn't open the door. In the rain. With snow all around me, melting and sloshing. Our door has a window that faces into the living room, where Stan was very comfortably laid out on the couch. We established eye contact and he didn't even acknowledge my presence. Then, I struggled to readjust all my stuff to unlock and open the door. Only then did he say hi.

3. I walked to the sink and was horrified. All of our glasses, 3 pots and pans, and several plates and sets of silverware were sitting in the sink, soaking in water. Not soapy water, just water.

Me: "Holy."
Stan: "Yeah, sorry, I couldn't do the dishes because I couldn't really move around without pain. I shouldn't be doing a lot of exertion."

That. Was probably a bold faced lie so he could be extra lazy. After I got home, he literally followed me everywhere in the house for 20 mins, walking and talking. Clearly, he was not hurting as bad as he claimed. Not bad enough to avoid doing dishes at least.

Me: "Just clean one glass for now. I don't think it's fair that I should have to do your dishes."
Stan: "If I can, maybe."

He did his exercises from his doctor. 15 mins after that, he washed one glass. With attitude.

4. I had broken a glass trying to fill my water pitcher in the sink. There was simply no room to move around in there and I ended up hitting one of the glasses with my pitcher as I was rinsing it out. I put the pieces on the table top at eye level so that I could see it and put all the pieces inside a paper bag, once I found one. Like. The pieces were right above the sink, directly under the lights. But I couldn't find a paper bag.

Me: "Stan, do you have any paper bags?"
Stan: *at sink* "No. What do you need it for?"
Me: "...That broken glass. *point right in front of him*"
Stan: "What broken glass?"
Me: "..............That one. *repoint*"
Stan: "Where?"
Me: "Right in front of you."
Stan: "Oh. So *smugly*, you broke a glass too huh?"
Me: "Yeah. There was too much stuff in the sink."

5. Stan always leaves his bananas out on a plate in the kitchen. There was only one there and it was very very overripe.

Stan: "I don't understand, I ate that banana's twin two days ago and it wasn't that ripe."

6. Stan likes to take his metal cans from food and soak them in water. I guess to clean them or something, I dunno. I always just swish out the food remainder, peel the label, and put it in the metal recycling, but whatever. Stan had left two cans soaking for 3 days. He then wondered why the cans rusted.

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WET METAL DOES WHEN EXPOSED TO AIR, TARDBUCKET

7. Stan took the dry dishes in the dish rack and wiped them with a wet towel before placing them in the cupboards. Maybe he thought he was helping. By defeating the action we left evaporation to do.

8. I had started getting quite sick and didn't know why yet. Stan had offered me cough drops one night, but I told him I'd try to find my own since I have 2 bags lying around somewhere. The next morning, I couldn't find them.

Me: "Stan, can I have some of the cough drops you were talking about? I couldn't find mine."
Stan: "......Yeah. Let me see if I have any."

We then walked towards his room together, with me following a step behind. When he got inside his room, he shut the door in my face. Like, trailing foot in, door shut. He didn't slam, just shut very quickly. He did almost hit me in the nose.

9. Stan walked into the house and towards his room. He stuck his hand up in the same direction as his walking and pressed the remote lock button on his car remote. His car locked, but why he was facing totally perpendicular to his car, I will never figure out. It's not like he didn't know where the thing was; he's parked there every day and he can actually see his car through the huge kitchen window.

10. Stan wanted to get a different rental car. He didn't like how his car didn't have Anti-lock brakes. How did he know? He tested the brakes. By slamming hard when going 15 mph. While it was snowing. On an icy road. He was right about the car not having ABS, but I don't think it's fair for him to claim that the only reason why his car kept veering to the sides while he was braking was due to lack of ABS.

11. Stan: "I'm glad I have a Honda. The tow truck only had to take it to [dealership] (a 30-40 minute drive). I'm so much more fortunate than you as that's far more reasonable for me."
Me: "................You....are aware that....there's a Jeep dealership downtown. So...like...5 minutes away."
Stan: "....Ok."

12. Me: "Yeah, our landlord was here earlier saying that the main road through town wasn't even plowed."
Stan: "Wow. How'd she get here then? Did she take her Mercedes or her Jeep?"
Me: "I didn't see, but I'm guessing she took her Jeep."
Stan: "Yeah, well, you mean Ted's Jeep."
Me: ".....*thinking, wtf is wrong with this kid, he's pretty much correcting himself* Sure."
Stan: "That's better."
Me: "....Anyway, yeah, I didn't see her car. She left not long afterwards."

13. Stan: "Do you have any AA batteries?"
Me: "Somewhere. I don't know where though, I've been looking for them."
Stan: "I need some to finish my final presentation."
Me: "...Don't you have a laptop? Can't you use the trackpad?"
Stan: "BAH, that'll mean it'll take FOREVER!"
Me: "......Right, well, I don't know where my batteries are."
Stan: "I guess I'll manage then."

Good news! He's moving out this Friday! I don't know why or how he did it but he's coming back to work in January for like 4 days. This makes no sense to me. Why would you be done with your final presentation, basically stop working, and come back for 4 days? Just stay home. You're done. If they're paying him for a longer vacation than most of the people at work take, then I should be able to get a week off no problem. Anyway, he's not moving back in, so I'm happy.

HR Person at work: "I don't really know what he was thinking, coming from home. But, if he really wants to drive 40 mins one way...in the terrible snow...in a hilly area....with narrow, dark roads, that's his choice."

**Edit**

Some stuff I forgot and just got this afternoon

1.  So Stan needed a hot pad and a cold pad for his sore areas after his car accident.  Remember, I saw him...two days...after the accident happened.

Stan: "OHHHHH, I probably shouldn't keep the hot pad in the freezer."

2.  When I woke up this afternoon, Stan IMMEDIATELY opened the door and said hi.  It was creepy.

3.  Stan in the kitchen to his phone: "Phonebook.  Call.  [Name].  Ok."

His phone...does not have voice recognition.

4.  Remember Stan's mouse dilemma?

Stan: "I fixed my mouse problem!  I went upstairs and took our landlady's mouse off her computer.  Can you believe that it's a USB mouse with a ball?"

Yes, Stan.  What I can't believe is that you stole our landlady's mouse.  Oh wait.  No.  I can believe that.  I just didn't think you'd actually do it.

**End Edit**